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LeBron Jerseys are So Popular that They’re Being Stolen From the Cherry Hill Dick’s
By Matt Schultz
Published:
At long last, they’re finally here. LeBron James Sixers jerseys are now available for purchase at Philly-area stores:
And since Monday was a pretty slow August news day, Kinker sent me out into the field to do some real reporting: I went to the Dick’s Sporting Goods closest to my house — in Cherry Hill, NJ — to check out the LeBron jersey situation with my own eyes. This is boots on the ground journalism. I am a reporter. This is my report.

Traffic was not good, but after twenty minutes that should’ve been more like ten, I arrived at Dick’s. Cherry Hill traffic is nuts. There are too many cars in Cherry Hill. Cherry Hill residents should have to carpool.
Once inside, I speed-walked past all the actual sporting goods — the soccer cleats, the hunting stuff, the neon-painted baseball bats, the basketball hoops with clear lids over the rims and nets sealed shut with zip tie — to the back left corner of the store where the Sixers merch display was:

This was it. This was all they had. I was very surprised by this. I expected LeBron jerseys, of course, but I also expected a bunch of other jerseys. Jaylen Brown, Tyrese Maxey, V.J. Edgecombe — but this was their meager selection. Mostly just LeBron boardwalk-style t-shirts:



Plus this V.J. shirt, which I thought was interesting. I wonder how many Sixers have gotten their own t-shirts at Dick’s Sporting Goods after just their rookie season. My guess would be less than five:

But as far as jerseys, the section only had these Joel ones, each the size of a tablecloth:

After staring at this barren area for a few minutes, I asked one of the nearby employees if they had any LeBron jerseys, explaining how I read online that they were supposed to have gotten them in today. He confirmed that they did, but they were keeping the jerseys at the front of the store, behind the registers. I thought that was odd, and headed that way to check it out, where I finally found them:

This is it. This is the entirety of LeBron Sixers jerseys that the Dick’s in Cherry Hill had on Monday afternoon. I was confused seeing this. Reading the announcements online, I imagined there’d be a big display or something, a nice end-of-aisle rack, with a huge cardboard cutout of LeBron wearing the full Sixers uniform and a crown. Something like that. But nope. Just a single dusty rack behind the glass counter next to some small brown boxes and white binders and an HP printer. Strange.
I also thought they’d have more color options, but by the time I was there, Dick’s only had the blues left in adult sizes:

They also had exactly seven red child-sized jerseys left, each of them with these dangling black devices hanging off them. I’ve never seen anything like this. Looks like a computer mouse attached:

I then asked the cashier if I could check out one of the adult jerseys. And they look pretty sick:



It helps if you ignore the price tag:

I went home after that and reported my findings to Kinker. He asked me why the jerseys were being kept behind the counter. I thought that was a good question, and one I probably should’ve asked while I was at the store. In my defense, though, all the employees looked very busy. The store was packed as hell for the middle of the afternoon on a Monday. Brick and mortar retail is alive and well in Cherry Hill. But in any event, I am a journalist, and I would not rest until I got the answers I needed. So I called the Cherry Hill Dick’s real quick and asked about it.
The employee who answered the phone told me that the jerseys were being kept behind the counter because the store was having trouble with people stealing them. I asked if LeBron jerseys would remain behind the counter for the foreseeable future, and they said probably — maybe they’d put them back in the regular Sixers section when the craziness died down in a few months. The employee also explained that there weren’t quite lines wrapped around the store to buy the jerseys Monday morning, but it was very hectic, and that about half of the LeBron jerseys they had were already sold — which explains why there were only blue ones left.
So if you’re heading over to the Cherry Hill Dick’s looking for a LeBron jersey, be sure to check at the cashier’s desk. You have local thieves to thank for that.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com