Eagles

This Giants Fan Has The Greatest Mugshot Ever

By Kyle Scott

Published: Nov 10th, 2015 · 9:23 AM EST

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We’re a tad late on this – I know because I saw it on the local news last night – but if you haven’t read it, it’s new to you!

A New York Giants fan – a Florida man – reached new levels of absurdity after the Giants-Bucs game on Sunday

From the Tampa Tribune:

A New York Giants fan from North Palm Beach tried to burn a giant Bucs flag at the team’s headquarters after Sunday’s game at Raymond James Stadium, police said.

Daniel Justin Raboni, 32, was arrested at One Buccaneer Place around 7:30 p.m. after a fan called 911, police said.

The 80-by-50-foot, $26,000 flag hangs from a 15-story pole at the team’s headquarters.

Police say the flag was made of fire-retardant material, so it didn’t go up in flames. Only a small part of the flag melted.

Raboni faces charges of criminal mischief and possession of marijuana, and is being held at the Hillsborough County Jail on $2,500 bond.

OK, few things:

1. I don’t smoke, but I would imagine it takes a truly delirious amount of marijuana to get the eyes to the point where the bottom lid is actively ascending towards the top lid, forming a shape that I can only imagine resembles a horizontal version the nether regions of a female pika.
2. Is he wearing shoulder pads, or did the hormone therapy for his failed Ninja Turtles movie audition go horribly awry?
3. A $26,000 flag?! I mean, I get the whole great-pirate-needs-great-flag argument. But is that really the going rate for these things? I thought Betsy Ross was just a humble ol’ quilter. The hell kind of markup was she charging?