Phillies

Roy Halladay’s Bronze Hand is Creepy

By Kyle Scott

Published: Aug 27th, 2010 · 12:08 PM EDT

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Gee, thanks… (Philles.com)

The Roy Halladay perfect game ceremony redux was well done, it really was.  The gifts were nice, watching Chooch get home plate was man-jerking (a male tear jerker), and the presence of Doc's wife and kids made the ceremony heartwarming.  But it was their very presence that led to some mega-creepiness.

David Montgomery presented Hallday’s two young sons with a bronze statue of their father’s hand, inscribed with the words “Dad’s Perfect Pitch.”  I don’t know about you, but I generally find a bronzed anything creepy.  And I don’t think any child wants to have a life-sized, veiny mold of Dad’s hand on their dresser.  I’m pretty sure that's the type of thing leads to serial killers who cut off and eat their victims hands.  But what do I know.

A better use would be to throw a couple double A’s in that son-bitch and you’d have a rather popular novelty item for women in the Delaware Valley- one that would eventually have its own Howard Stern segment.

Make it happen.  We’ll call it, “Playing Doctor.”

Oh jeez, there's a whole culture devoted to these things.