Eagles

This Cleveland Sports Anchor Nailed Every NFL Draft Cliché

By Kyle Scott

Published: Mar 31st, 2017 · 8:46 AM EDT

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I hate the lead-up to the draft. It’s maybe my least favorite sports thing next to Philly cheesesteak shots. The draft itself – night one and the beginning of day 2 – is fine and otherwise interesting, but the three months before it, filled with NFL jamokes and big-headed talkers who have a picture of Mel Kiper, himself a geek, hanging over their beds, represent the worst that sports media – mainstream and independent alike – has to offer. Everyone is wrong, no one has a clue, and they’re feeding you nutrition-less shit nuggets to keep you coming back for more.

It’s rare we see a local news anchor successfully lampoon a sports paradigm, but this is a job well done by Tony Zarrella. He’d be immediately fired from ESPN for this sort of thing.

Side note: I had a dream that Roger Goodell and his son came over for the holidays and watched my family’s touch football game, which took place at Lincoln Financial, and that I wanted to do a crazy touchdown celebration to really piss him off. Don’t be a sports blogger, boys and girls.