Eagles

Donovan McNabb Said to Be in Good Spirits After Being Caught in Yet Another Shitstorm

By Kyle Scott

Published: Nov 21st, 2013 · 10:43 AM EST

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I am so sick and tired of writing about Donovan McNabb’s existence, but the dude is a shitstorm magnet. Wherever he goes, whatever he says, whatever he does… shit follows and usually hurls itself into a fan and, subsequently, on everyone downwind. McNabb always bears the brunt of it and then doles out little smears to those around him as disgusting tokens of his appreciation.

Good morning. That was my first paragraph of the day.

Donovan McNabb finally responded to comments made by Shawn Andrews accusing McNabb of being THE WORST TEAMMATE IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS(!). I’m guessing McNabb would’ve had something to say sooner had he not been digging out from the shit flung by a nation of enraged rednecks.

Former Five, speaking to Mike Sielski, who took time off from ramming Ed Snider’s head in scrap metal crusher, was confused:

“That is ridiculous,” McNabb said. “I don’t know what comments you expect to get from me, but that is news to me and completely false. For me to bully anybody, that sounds unbelievable. . . .

“I don’t really understand why this would come about, one, and two, how this would even be an accusation. If there’s anything I can say, I was more than open to Shawn. I always tried to be open to all the guys. I’d invite them over to my house. I’d have holiday dinners or team functions, especially for the offense, every year. I’d buy all the guys gifts, if I made the Pro Bowl or not, for an appreciation. Shawn was one of the most talented offensive linemen we had. I was always happy to have him.”

McNabb’s in the business and was the subject of Andrews’ comments, which were everywhere yesterday. How did he not know about this until Sielski called him?

But I’m kind of on McNabb’s side here. Andrews called out McNabb and McNabb only. Why? Because his name gets headlines. If Andrews had said that, say, Correll Buckhalter used to send him dildos and laugh at him in the shower, everyone’s reaction would have been: Oh yeah, I remember Correll Buckhalter. What ever happened to him? But when it’s McNabb… shit happens.