Flyers

Brayden Schenn Had a Goal, an Assist… and a Belly Scar

By Kyle Scott

Published: Jan 8th, 2014 · 9:52 AM EST

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That sound you hear is our female readership squealing as their primal instincts send blood rushing to their nether regions. Looking at you, Brandi:

Schenn was cut by Dainius Zubrus’ skate as he attempted a hit near the boards. But he’s a hockey player and didn’t miss any time. The only lasting impact of the cut will be the inevitable scar that will serve as a treasure map to 20-somethings in Old City eager to uncover parts unknown.

That may have been the best part of Schenn’s evening, but there was more. As reader Ed noted, Brayden may have created his own hattie:

@CrossingBroad Did Brayden create a new hat trick tonight?

— Ed (@BotWithABeard) January 8, 2014

Move over, Gordie Howe, Brayden Schenn has now coined The Schenner— a goal, an assist.. and a scar that’s going to get him laid*:

*For real. I don’t know if I can place enough emphasis on the premium location of that scar. It’s just far enough from things to not be freakish, but close enough to drive puck sluts wild. “Show me your battle wounds, Brayden. Oh yes. YES. YES!” This is “Bruce Jenner requests this look from his plastic surgeon” territory.