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Not Only are the Hurricanes Ten Times Better than the Penguins, but the Trolling and Shitposting Options are Limited
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The Flyers got stomped in Game 1 on Saturday night. Final score 3-0. The Canes are a Stanley Cup contender and they were coming off and entire week of rest, so they jumped on the Flyers early and got the crowd all revved up and cruised to a relatively easy win.
As lopsided as this game felt at times, there were some things in the Flyers’ control that they didn’t handle well, namely the power play. They were 0-4 on the night and didn’t even muster a shot on goal during their first three, which, uh, isn’t gonna get the job done. You see in these types of situations what the Flyers need to do to take the next level, and it’s hard enough to beat the Canes at all, let alone when one of your special teams units is completely useless. It would be like trying to win an MMA fight where you go into round 1 not being able to use all of your limbs.
Anyway, the Canes are REALLY good. This is not Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Kris Letang skating around the nursing home. They’re fast and they swarm and they’ve got killers all over the ice. The Flyers went into the series as heavy underdogs and the main reason we talked ourselves into believing was because they played Carolina to overtime four times in the regular season, and therefore figured these games might be close. If they can somehow scratch out a Game 2 win on Monday night, then the building is gonna be jumping for Game 3 and hopefully filled with mongrels.
But we all know that anything happening now is a bonus. The Penguins were the Super Bowl and there’s no shame in admitting that because it’s the stone cold truth. This is a rebuilding Flyers team that wasn’t expected to do anything. They had a 3% chance to get into the playoffs coming out of the Olympic break. They’ve overachieved and even if they get run off the ice by the Canes in this series, it’s already been a wildly successful season and there’s no changing that.
The one thing that’s been difficult for us personally is banter, trolling, and shitposting. Going from Pittsburgh to Carolina is TOUGH. The Yinzers were so easy to needle. Those slovenly losers from the Burgh. Zero playoff series wins since 2018! Small market team! They’re gonna move the Pens to Kansas City after Sid retires. The memes and the tweets basically published themselves.
When it comes to Carolina, there’s not that much to talk about. First of all, they’re on an eight-year playoff streak in which they’ve been to the conference finals three times. So that angle is toast. We could point out that they stole the Whalers from Hartford and are a fake team. STOLEN VALOR! They do play across the street from NC State’s football stadium, so there’s probably a narrative to craft along the lines of “you play on a college campus.” Maybe they are the 7th biggest college team in North Carolina, behind the Tar Heels, Blue Devils, Demon Deacons, Wolfpack, ECU Pirates, and North Carolina A&T Aggies. We could do the small market thing again or attack southern hockey fans like the Boston radio host who hung up on the Canes beat writer years ago. They need both Raleigh AND Durham to fill a hockey arena. Yadda yadda, etc. –
“Yeah, we haven’t won a Cup in 50 years, but you’re a fake a team that didn’t even exist until 1997!” Something like that, though it’s a little cringe. We might not even get the opportunity to troll if the Flyers go down 2-0. But the Knicks and their fans will provide fodder.
Meantime:
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com