Phillies

Darren Rovell is a Real Idiot

By Kyle Scott

Published: May 15th, 2014 · 12:53 PM EDT

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Yesterday, Zoo With Roy penned a fake letter from Ryne Sandberg to Whom It May Concern at Shake Shack– an obviously satirical response to the food poisoning Sandberg suffered after eating a burger from the company’s Citi Field establishment. The communique appeared real enough… until you got to the line: “To the chefs, hear this: even if your general manager gives you subprime ingredients (I’m talking total, barely usable crud) and little opportunity or resources to create a better end product you have to persevere and find a way.”

The joke wasn’t obvious to some.

ESPN assbag and self-styled social media guru Darren Rovell took the letter at face value and contacted the Phils to confirm its legitimacy:

What a genuinely perplexing response. Like, Rovell, who has a habit of taking things online way too seriously, contacted a Major League Baseball team to verify a fake letter written by someone who hides his (or her?!) identity behind the avatar of a penguin eating a Pop Tart. How do you think that conversation went?

Rovell: Hey, calling to confirm the legitimacy of the letter Ryan Sandberg sent to Shake Shack?

Head-shaking Phillies rep: It’s Ry… never mind. What letter?

Rovell: The one obtained by Zoo With Roy.

Head-shaking Phillies rep: You’re a fucking moron.

ZWR’s post has since disappeared due, at least in part, to Rovell’s stupidity. And ZWR reminded Rovell that the work on his bolg is often satire:

Sometimes you just never know what’s real.