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Let’s Check in on How the Mets Are Doing (So Bad, it’s Awesome)

Matt Schultz

By Matt Schultz

Published:

May 4, 2026; Denver, Colorado, USA; A pair of New York Mets fans during the third inning against the Colorado Rockies at Coors Field.
Ron Chenoy-Imagn Images

It’s been a pretty busy couple of weeks. The Phillies are back to playing solid baseball, somehow now just two games back of a Wild Card spot. John Tortorella and Carter Hart are going to the Stanley Cup Finals. Jared McCain’s excellent play in the Western Conference finals keeps making me think about the Sixers even though I desperately do not want to. AJ Brown had a wedding. Et cetera. 

With all that going on, I realized, I haven’t checked in on the Mets recently. I’ve had too much on my plate. How are those guys doing?

The answer, I’ve discovered, is very bad. It’s awesome:

The Mets are 22-33, second-worst in the NL. They’ve lost five straight. Their team’s OBP is .292 – dead last in the NL. On the season, they have scored just 210 runs – second-fewest in NL. The Mets have the second-highest payroll in baseball at $381.8 million. That’s so much money. It really is awesome.  

And amidst the true, utter misery that is the Mets 2026 season, Citi Field is still putting their fans through some sort of dance party/rave situation:

Things have gotten so bad that the Mets’ broadcast team is openly ripping the manager. Here’s Ron Darling blasting Carlos Mendoza after David Peterson failed to back up the plate on a throw home:

“I don’t understand it. It really tells me that coaches really don’t have as much influence on the players they think they have. Because someone should rip someone at some point. But they don’t, because they don’t wanna upset anyone.” 

But it wouldn’t be a true Mets nightmare unless there was a real curveball, something so uniquely sad and pathetic that it only could happen to the Mets. This Patrick Star situation checks that box:

This has been a really great check-in, in my opinion. I’ve enjoyed this a lot. I don’t care how busy things get – I vow not to let too much time pass before our next Mets status update. It’s too damn fun.

Matt Schultz
Matt Schultz

Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)

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