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Kyle Schwarber Tells the Story of a Phillies Fan Who Waited at the Airport Until 3 A.M. to Express His Displeasure
By Matt Schultz
Published:
There hasn’t been much good news surrounding the Phillies over the last few days (or weeks, or months), but here’s a story that’s sure to make fans feel a little better: On Pardon My Take, Kyle Schwarber told a story about a lone fan waiting until the Phillies plane landed at 3 A.M. to show them a homemade sign with a very important message:
“[Here’s] a funny Philly story. This is awesome: It was near the end of the year, and we’re coming off a road trip for our last homestand before we go hit ten games. I think we might’ve got swept on the road. And we’re all pissed off, whatever it is, and we land in Philly where we get on the buses – and it’s like three in the morning. We see, like – so we pull out this gate and we see someone standing right there and [we’re] like, ‘Man, what is this?’ All of a sudden this dude just whips out a sign, holds it up, [and it] says like, ‘Same shit every year. We deserve better.‘ I’m like, ‘This guy waiting til three A.M. for us to get back just for that?’ Like, that’s – I loved it. Like we’re all laughing. Like it was funny.”
Two things I love here: First off, respect to the fan who was hanging around until three in the morning waiting for the plane to land. That couldn’t have been easy. If it were me, and I was the one who showed up with the sign ready to make my point, I’m bailing on the whole thing once the clock hits like 9 PM. In my opinion, that’s simply too late to be anywhere that’s not your own house. Nothing for me out there after that. I’m tired just thinking about this guy’s evening. Did he have a chair? Was he standing that whole time? Did he have to sit on the ground? In the dark, no less? Did he bring food? What kind of food? Protein bars? How many? How much water would he have needed to last that long? What was his phone battery at? Was he worried about it? Did he have a charger? How bored was he while he waited? Maybe he made some phone calls he’d been putting off in the meantime? Who would be awake to talk to at 2:30 AM? Etc., etc., etc. Again, respect. This took a lot of heart, which I do not have.
The second thing I really enjoyed here was Kyle’s enjoyment. He loved this moment. He was so happy to see this unhinged Phils fan standing alone in the dark and holding up this homemade sign. Gotta imagine there are plenty of athletes that wouldn’t see it this way – they’d get mad and defensive and maybe shit on Philly fans for being lunatics. I, for one, appreciate that Kyle appreciates the lunacy.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)