Phillies

The Amaro Lies

By Kyle Scott

Published: Jun 13th, 2011 · 4:42 PM EDT

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He looks charming and honest

Welcome to our new running installment (?), which chronicles Ruben Amaro's quest to seduce a buxom blonde as part of a Lifetime mini-series land another right-handed bat.

Last week, we told you that Amaro said the Phillies weren't going to make any major moves this year. We think he's lying. Buster Olney, with your daily trade rumor:

Rival evaluator says the Phillies are already looking at right-handed hitting outfielders. Speculation: Josh Willingham, Michael Cuddyer?

 

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm.

I see you Rube, checkin' out righties. Checkin' out righties.

If this does follow the cadence of a Lifetime movie, Rube will start out by sheepishly sending us flowers and denying his involvement with righties. But, before long, he'll start leaking trade rumors, taking late-night calls on his Blackberry, and beating us into submission with harsh verbal abuse. It's at this point that we'll either cry to our friends… or try to kill him. Either way, we'll come out of this hating men.