Phillies

Theory: A Deranged Hipster Transplant Posted This Phillies Message on a Minneapolis Utility Poll

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Jul 7th, 2026 · 3:43 PM EDT

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Meantime, on Phillies Reddit:

Found in Minneapolis
by u/huphelmeyer in phillies

Uhhhhhh…. yes.

This appears to be an elaborate and humorous troll job. It’s so oddly specific and detailed that it straddles the “hilarious” and “total nutjob” line, which is a thin line.

Or maybe it’s AI and we’re all being duped. In which case we publish the story and collect the cheap clicks regardless.

Anyhoo –

This possibly demented comedian is alleging that the Phillies request a different hotel when they visit Minnesota so that they can be closer to an axe throwing place. Then they get rowdy from the axe throwing and start walking around annoying people, causing a ruckus and disrupting the peace and messing with folks during their work day. It’s kind of funny because you could see Brandon Marsh and Kyle Schwarber doing something like this. They seem like the axe-throwing types.

Then the flyer calls for Minnesotans to “FORTIFY AGAINST THIS SCOURGE” and requests that they join the “Phillies Disaster Preparedness Committee,” which was formed during the Brandon Workman and David Phelps bullpen era. Below, in fine print, it requests participation from “persons equipped to summon curses, those well-versed in the dark arts, and practitioners of any form of spiritual violence.“

I tried scanning the QR code but couldn’t do it on an Android. But we have a dumb iPhone user on staff who says it goes to a Google doc that further leads to an Instagram account called @pseudonyms.acceptable, which features similar photos of goofy flyers taped to Minneapolis utility poles.

So I think the conclusion is that this person is either humorous, deranged, or a Philadelphia transplant. Probably all three at the same time. It looks like something a weird hipster would do.

The end.