Ad Disclosure
Ben Simmons is Open to Returning to the Sixers, Kind of Blames Matisse Thybulle for the Passed-Up Dunk Disaster, and Never Had Confidence Issues – Per Ben Simmons
By Matt Schultz
Published:
Men’s Health ran a big write-up on Ben Simmons by Clay Skipper on Monday, and there are some real gems in there. Highly recommend everyone check it out — but if you’re just looking for the highlights, here are a few of my favorite quotes, along with some stray thoughts:
Notes and Quotes from the Men’s Health Ben Simmons Piece
First off, I’d like to ask: Whose idea was this write-up? Had to be Ben Simmons’ idea, right? I doubt Men’s Health was reaching out to Ben like, “Hey Ben. Men’s Health here. We heard you fish now. Let us write about that.” Doesn’t Men’s Health usually write about like kale being good for your GI tract? 10 Foods That Will Give You Healthier Shits, stuff like that. Seems like an odd match. Gotta wonder how many other publications Ben Simmons reached out to before he landed on Men’s Health. Had to have been over ten. I’m a little surprised and hurt that Crossing Broad didn’t get this call.
I ask him if it’s true that he struggled with his confidence during the end of his time in Philly. “I was injured,” he says, sounding weary, like someone who is tired of having this argument again. “So many people speak about confidence. If I was not confident, I would not get on the court again, I would not go to the Clippers, I wouldn’t play in Brooklyn. It’s health. It’s just being healthy.”
It kind of bums me out that Ben Simmons is still refusing to admit that confidence issues contributed to his fall-off in the NBA. There’s something sad about the deliberate self-delusion of it, and how desperately he’s still trying to cling to his shaky narrative all these years later. We were all there, Ben. You got the yips. It’s okay. This sort of stuff happens sometimes. I, for one, would be rooting for you way more if you were honest about it. Think that’d be a nice thing. Maybe it could help some other folks out there dealing with similar stuff. But nope. Ben Simmons says Ben Simmons is now, and has always been, ultra-confident in basketball. Sure thing, Ben. Yes. Whatever you say.
This is where much of the frustration aimed at Simmons comes from: He’s closed off and doesn’t always offer much in the way of explanation. His answers can also be inconsistent. When referring to his time in Philly in a later conversation, he says he was “second-guessing” and “overthinking” on the court. When I ask if he’s referring to his confidence or his body, he says it was “a mixture of things.”
Get your story straight, Ben… Men’s Health isn’t going to believe a word you say if you keep flip-flopping…
Though Simmons describes himself as “pretty chill and calm”—a guy who likes “to barbecue with the boys, go fishing, watch some footy, just relax, have a cold beer.”
This description made me laugh. Such a funny way for Ben Simmons to pander to people and try to seem likable. Sounds like a politician who’s attempting to learn what normal, non-wealthy people enjoy from Instagram Reels. “Yes, well, what you need to know about me is that I love beer. Any kind. If it’s yellowish and has bubbles, then I’m in. What else? I love outdoors. The sky. Dirt. All of that. Overall I’d say I’m chill. I’m relaxed. I’m laid-back. I’m barely awake. I barely speak. I sit way back in any chair I’m sitting in. I’m pretty much always about to slip right off my chair basically. Let me think, what else… Well, I’m a guys’ guy. I love the boys. I have a group text with my main boys in it. We talk sports in there. I enjoy sports. All of them. Any and all, pretty much, is my approach. I get my hair cut at Sports Clips, for example. I don’t like when the barber talks. I don’t respond when he talks because I’m watching sports. I am one of you. Please like me.”
“I wasn’t hitting my shit, so motherfucker, you knock it down!” Simmons laughs. “I just gave it to somebody who was shooting a higher percentage free throw at the time. So what is the difference? How about he should’ve made the fucking free throws? But he didn’t and it is what it is. That’s still my boy. I love the guy.”
I know Ben is kind of joking around here, but he’s not really. He seems pretty mad that no one gave Matisse Thybulle shit for missing his free throws against Atlanta. Seems like Ben still assigns a good amount of blame to Matisse for that Sixers loss – and by extension, for all the backlash Ben got for passing up the dunk. But good to know they’re still boys. Very funny that he said that at the end. I’d be so furious if my friend talked shit about me in a magazine that specializes in how to achieve firmer bowel movements and then followed it up with, “That’s still my boy.”
THE NEXT TIME I talk to Simmons, he’s just returned from the Bahamas, where his South Florida Sails won a three-day SFC tournament in Walker’s Cay. Simmons wasn’t fishing, but he was one of the seven team members on the boat, running up and down the boat’s tower, trying to spot fish.
Love the idea of this big-ass giant sprinting around the boat looking for fish. All the fishermen are trying to focus and do real fishing-type stuff, and team owner Ben Simmons is clomping around and shaking the whole boat and muttering in his boring, signature monotone to no one in particular, “I see one. Down there. Under the water.”
Which makes me wonder—while he’s here reflecting, on the cusp of turning 30, fresh off his win at Walker’s Cay, perhaps about to embark on his comeback—is there anything he’d do differently?
“Nah, I’m Ben Simmons. I just gotta keep doing what Ben Simmons wants to do.”
Sounds like a cool teammate.
“I plan on getting as strong as I can physically, getting my ass on the court, and then the team realizing that my abilities will be needed,” he says. “I don’t have a plan on where.” He feels like he still has a lot to offer teams (“You can’t teach 6’10” and IQ,” he says), and he’s been talking to coaches who have told him to get healthy, because if he’s healthy, he has a spot. “Maybe I’ll go back to Philly,” he says. “Miami would be nice. And not because it’s Miami—I like Erik Spoelstra, I like the Heat, I like their organization, I like the culture.”
I hereby officially give the Sixers the thumbs up to sign Simmons to the vet minimum. Welcome home, Ben. This would be fun. The blogs would be good.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com