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Bill Simmons Blames Joe Mazzulla for the Celtics’ Collapse After a Cowardly 24-Hour Podcast Wait
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Sixers are moving on to their second-round matchup against the Knicks, with Game 1 set for Monday at 8 PM ET – but I, for one, am not done dunking on the Celtics. I’ve waited a lifetime for this moment. I’m not moving on yet. Right now I’d like to talk about Bill Simmons’ reaction to the Celtics falling apart. It’s pretty great.
Bill should’ve done a podcast on Saturday night right after the Game 7 loss, but he didn’t. On paper, he had a reasonable excuse: Earlier in the week, Bill said he’d be busy celebrating his daughter’s birthday on Saturday, so whether the Celtics won or lost, he would not be available to pod.
Do not be fooled: This was cowardice. Bill knew from Game 5 on that the Celtics were going to blow this series – he was terrified of what was to come, and needed to buy himself a stay of execution so he wouldn’t have to face Sixers fans right after the game. Despicable… You can’t get anything past me, Bill… I hear it all… I see podcasts in green Matrix code before my very eyes…
But Bill couldn’t hide forever. He took to the mic Sunday night on Netflix with Zach Lowe to discuss the game, and after 25 minutes of delay – cowardice! – Bill finally told us how he felt, along with the reason the Celtics blew this series: Joe Mazzulla:
“I thought Mazzulla was incredible in the regular season. It was honestly – I voted for him for coach of the year, I thought he was incredible. And I don’t know what they were thinking with this playoffs. I have so many questions. And look, did Philly win this series or did Boston blow it? I think the answer is both. They went back to their 2024 style without the same players, is my biggest issue. They slowed it down, they didn’t play with pace, they gave up on their bench. And I was saying it on the podcast at the time, I didn’t really understand it. This is my honest feeling: I think Mazzulla treated this series like, ‘Let’s figure out what we have for when we play the Knicks and the Pistons and whoever comes out of the West. I’m gonna use this as my litmus test series. I’m gonna see what I have with Vucevic, I’m gonna shorten my rotations, I’m gonna try to do the 2024 thing again.’ And they just got away from what succeeded for them. The bench was the super power of this team. It was guys like Hugo [Gonzalez] and Walsh coming in and being maniacs for five, six minutes. And just just punted on it… So just – I really think Mazzulla screwed this series up, and I’m always gonna think that.”
Thank you, Bill… Yes… This is all very good… I enjoyed hearing this very much… Truly thrilled we’re about to get a nice, long offseason of Bill being deeply upset by this… Happy birthday, to all of us…
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)