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Payton Pritchard is Coping With the Sixers’ Impressive Game 5 Win by Saying the Celtics Beat Themselves
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Celtics sound awfully disappointed that the Sixers managed to stave off elimination with an impressive Game 5 win, and Payton Pritchard is chief among them. During Boston’s postgame press availability, the Celtics’ sixth man explained that the loss had more to do with what the Celtics did wrong than with what the Sixers did right:
“I thought we had a decent first half. I just think we just [were] a little lackadaisical at times when we could’ve put them away. And um, you know, we just messed around with the game. And, you know, when you have a team on the brink of elimination you really got to put your foot on the gas and finish it, so I thought we let them have life at times that they didn’t need to.”
I love that Pritchard is saying this. It’s clear to anyone who watched the game that this is not what happened. The Celtics lost Game 5 because the Sixers won the game – on the back of Joel Embiid’s dominant second half. After notching just two points in the first quarter on 1-of-6 from the field – largely letting Boston’s defense off the hook by hovering outside the arc and jacking up threes – the banged-up big man got rolling in the third, going 4-of-6 from the floor for ten points and attempting no threes. After the halftime adjustments were made, Joel lived in the paint, making Neemias Queta and Nikola Vučević look like they’re the ones who had an appendectomy two weeks ago. Embiid ended the game with 33 points on 12-of-18 from inside the arc, and threw in eight assists – many on perfectly executed kick-outs to shooters after he drew a double team – for good measure.
What we saw was a dominant, throwback Joel performance. That – plus timely shooting, tenacious defense from Quentin Grimes, and Tyrese Maxey deciding to grab ten rebounds despite being the smallest guy on the floor – is why the Celtics lost.
Get your facts straight, Payton… I hear everything…
But again, I do like that Pritchard said what he said. In fact, I wish he leaned in even more. Payton Pritchard has good villain potential! Get meaner, Payton! Call the Sixers Game 5 win a complete fluke. Say they don’t belong on the same floor as the Celtics. Make fun of Joel Embiid’s new appendectomy scar. Say the new purple color they slapped on Xfinity Mobile Arena looks dumb as hell. Announce that Philadelphia is a city made of garbage. Give us your worst…
I think it’d be a fun thing to really sports-hate Payton Pritchard. He’s got the perfect look for it. Maybe because he looks like every irritating white Duke player ever melded into one guy. Or because he looks like an adult version of a CYO player who gets extra playing time because his dad’s the coach. Or maybe it’s simply his 2009-ass buzzcut. I don’t particularly like it… but I wish I had reason to really sports-hate it.
The Sixers’ Game 5 win has given this series some nice juice. Thank you, Payton, for adding a little more to it.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)