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Brazilian Tourists Say Philadelphia is the Most Beautiful City They’ve Ever Seen
By Matt Schultz
Published:
Philadelphians are proud people. We don’t need a bunch of compliments to know that Philly is a world-class city. We already know that. But still, it is nice every now and then to hear people reaffirm it. It’s a pleasant reminder. Philly does rules:
“The people are always happy and smiling, and everybody’s so kind and warm, and the vibe of the city is so amazing”
“To be honest, this is the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Like I’m really loving this city.”
This is what’s up. I’m very glad to hear everyone in the city’s been nice to these guys — not that I’m surprised. I’ve always thought it was weird how everyone says Philadelphians are assholes. By and large, in my experience, everyone here is always so nice and genuine. Sometimes other drivers will yell at me while I’m driving on the Boulevard, but that’s just part of the game. Doesn’t even count. I don’t hold it against anyone. No one should be held accountable for the things they say while driving a car. That aside, the rest of the time, the people here are good people. Very nice that the Brazilians are experiencing that side of Philly.
Them saying Philly is the most beautiful city they’ve ever seen is another story, though. That’s an interesting one. The family just came down from NYC (a dump), so of course it’s understandable that Philly feels like a breath of fresh air – but these guys are from Brazil. They really think Philly is more beautiful than Rio de Janeiro? São Paulo? I’ve never been there, but aren’t those places famously beautiful?
Not that I’m complaining. It rules that Philly tops their list. I love the idea of them walking around town and being blown away over and over:
A Demand Rand billboard on 95 brings tears to their eyes…
A blown-out, shredded-up tire on 76 takes their breath away…
An unknown wetness dripping onto their head while walking under the El on Front Street stirs their souls…
Circling the block for forty minutes looking for a parking spot in Grad Hos makes their hearts swell…
Getting their tires weirdly caught in trolley tracks for a second while driving on Girard leaves them awestruck…
A confusing parking kiosk making them download some app in Old City makes time stand still…
The drive-thru line at the Cottman Wendy’s being 30 cars deep at all hours of the day fills them with hope…
Welcome to Philly, our dear Brazilian friends. Hope you keep enjoying your time here.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com