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I’ve Had it with These Mutating Mice and Evolving Rats in Philadelphia
Published:
Saw this story on Action News about mutating mice and evolving rats:
If the thought of mice and rats makes your skin crawl, then the phrase “mutating mice” probably sounds like something out of a horror movie.
But researchers say it’s a real, growing problem, right here in Philadelphia.
A recent Rutgers University study examined rodent samples from New York City, Washington, D.C., New Jersey, and the Philadelphia region. Researchers found that mice are evolving rapidly, with many now able to survive poisons designed to kill them.
…we found that about 70% of the mice populations contained mutations,” Rutgers entomologist Changlu Wang said.
The study also looked at rats. While researchers say rats are not mutating in the same way, they are still evolving, learning to avoid traps and other extermination methods.
“They’re getting smarter by the day. They’re just ignoring the traps and going over them,” said Terrell Williams, owner of The Bug Bully, a pest control company serving Philadelphia and its suburbs.
This seems concerning. I haven’t seen any mutant mice out here in the suburbs, but a fox was sitting in the front yard yesterday eating a squirrel, so there was that. And the hawks and turkey vultures are regularly circling overhead, so maybe we just unleash Pennsylvania and South Jersey fauna upon the urban rodent plague and let nature do its thing.
If that’s not feasible, a couple of other options to combat this mutating mice and evolving rat problem:
- flame throwers
- napalm in the morning
- get the Pied Piper up in here
- mandatory cat ownership for all residents
- drone strikes and/or chemtrails
- force the rodents to listen to Imagine Dragons until they submit
- mass deportations
- hire Joey Merlino to sniff out these rats
- politely ask the Cowboys fans to leave
- call up Samuel L Jackson: “I have had it with these motherfucking mutating mice and evolving rats.“
- find a way to live in peace and harmony with these tiny creatures?
If we don’t act, this is what we could be up against:
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com