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“Oregon Trail-Level Dysentery” – Redditor Fears the Diarrhea Outbreak Has Made it to Philadelphia
Published:
Uh oh! This is concerning:
Cyclosporiasis
by u/Vivid_Ice_2683 in philly
“I did not expect to be getting Oregon Trail-level dysentery this summer.”
If you’re unaware, there is currently a diarrhea outbreak taking over parts of the country. It’s known as Cyclosporiasis, but more commonly referred to as “Sixers Second Round Disease.” That’s because the local basketball team shits their pants whenever they get to the Eastern Conference semifinals.
But Cyclosporiasis is nothing to joke about.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, this is “an intestinal infection caused by the microscopic parasite Cyclospora cayetanensis. It spreads by eating food or drinking water contaminated with infected feces. Symptoms include watery diarrhea, stomach cramps, nausea, and fatigue.“
The CDC says that 34 states have reported at least one case since May 1st. The problem areas are in Michigan and Ohio, where Wolverine and Buckeye fans are having a poop-off. “Go blue! We can get more diarrhea than you!” Is there nothing those fans won’t compete over? You have to respect the passion and commitment.
Kentucky and West Virginia are also having issues, but the entire mid-Atlantic region is seeing cases now, which is no bueno.
It seems as though health officials have not located the source of the outbreak, but they’re advising people to stay away from pre-packaged produce, like leafy greens or salads. They advise you to go for whole produce instead, like the raw and uncut stuff.
Taco Bell Corp. said it “voluntarily and temporarily removed limited ingredients” at select restaurants. The fast food chain added public health officials haven’t “confirmed a link to Taco Bell or any specific ingredient, supplier, restaurant or retailer.”
You imagine this one would be hard to nail down, because Taco Bell can give you diarrhea even when the lettuce is not contaminated. So you’re fighting fire with fire even when consuming the product outside of a Cyclosporiasis outbreak. But it’s totally worth the risk. You ever have those cantina chicken tacos? God damn!
Stay safe out there, and stay off the Sixers’ injury report. You don’t want to catch a DNP – gastroenteritis:
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com