Flyers

Bernie Parent Continues to Have a Better Life Than You

By Kyle Scott

Published: Jun 17th, 2013 · 1:52 PM EDT

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In his latest column on Philly.com – the local non-profit that affords celebrities, sports stars and politicians (oh, and journalists, too) the opportunity to write pretty much whatever they want – Bernie Parent urges you to laugh more, which would be significantly easier to do if your life consisted of titties at Wing Bowl, banquets and fishing:

Make a list of 10 different things you love to do. One of mine happens to be on a boat, offshore, tuna fishing. But tomorrow, I don’t want to go f***ing tuna fishing, I want to go feed the ducks at the pond. When the list has been exhausted, make another one. And I guarantee you’ll find something to laugh about while you’re doing the things you love.

When I wake up in the morning, I look at myself in the mirror and laugh at myself. It is important to add some cheer into your day-to-day life and stop taking yourself so seriously. Don’t scold yourself for the mistake you just made. Laugh at it. The more you beat yourself up over your slip-up, the more power you give it and you allow it to consume your thoughts, even your entire day.

My list:

1) Go to a waterpark because waterparks are fun and, really, could serve as a proactive deterrent for would-be terrorists. No one wants to harm anyone after giggling their way down a water ride. 

2-10) Somehow figure out a way to live Bernie’s life.

Never change, Bernie. Never change.