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Today we learned a lot about Joe Banner, if we take his words at face value: He wants a new challenge in life– to own an NFL team.

But his life decision seems to deviate, at least bit, from this 2010 vocal essay he delivered on WHYY’s This I Believe program, which invited people from all walks of life to write brief essays about the core values that guide their lives.

For realsies, Joe wrote an essay for public access radio. 

His message was a good one, too: Don’t always assume that the grass is greener on the other side. Enjoy what you have. Don’t wish for winter in summer. Something about clouds. And other, similar introspective fare.

It’s hard to draw parallels between Banner’s essay and his decision to leave the Eagles… because he did the exact opposite of what he preached, leaving the Eagles to pursue greener grass (unless, of course, he was forced out or no longer got along with his coworkers…). 

Anyway, that’s a huge leap to make, and mostly we’re just bringing this to you because it’s a hysterical listen from the what the fuck? files, unearthed by our friend Matt Hammond of ThoughtsInPassing.com.

Enjoy the host, who sounds like the underratedly sexy island chick from Pirates of the Caribbean.