Is It Fucking Creepy to Bring a Zoom Lens to Wing Bowl?

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YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS.

There’s a weird thing that happens with cameras at Wing Bowl. A dichotomy exists between the event floor and the stands. I feel out of place with my iPhone as a camera on the event floor, where eaters, entourages, assorted VIPs and other mongrels gather. It’s plenty sufficient, but there’s a huge difference between asking a potentially coked up 18-year-old stripper to pose for a picture when you’re a photographer carrying a $1,000 SLR and when you whip a cell phone out of your pocket, fiddle for the camera app, and countdown: “1, 2, 3! I’M WORKING. I SWEAR!”* You mean business with the real camera. You look like a creep with the cell phone.**

It’s the opposite in the stands. If you bring a high-powered camera with an extra long zoom lens, you might be someone who has to knock on neighbors doors when you move to a new town. My first Wing Bowl experience, in 2003, was highlighted by the guy in front of me – mid-40s-ish – who was wearing an Eagles helmet and screaming “SHOW YOUR TITS!” into a bullhorn. That’s the sort of guy who brings the zoom lens. And that’s the sort of guy who is locked in a darkroom tonight with seven boxes of tissues, a rope and a wedding dress. Don’t be that guy, Guy.

*I’m a three-counter. Always have been, always will be. If you don’t do it, you’re an asshole and people are blinking in your pictures.

**Wing Bowl is perhaps the only place on Earth where you’re encouraged to take pictures of the strippers with your cell phone. Not sure if that’s a positive or not.

28 Comments

  1. Really gotta get a good shot of those bumpy braille nipples

  2. Jesus, what a bunch of degenerate fucks. I can’t believe wing bowl still goes on. All it does is just further the “Philly fan” stereotype. Fuck you Cataldi, you Red Sox fan.

    • Agreed! We’re going to start charging WIP for the industrial-strength disinfectant we need to clean up the (let’s just call it “ooze”) that’s all over the seats and floor after these wing bowls.

      After such a pleasant experience with the Flyers Carnival, to see the building defaced in this manner is just heartbreaking.

      .

  3. Erroneous Groundhog

    January 31, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    Who uses film?

  4. 97.5 the fanatic employees flooding crossing broad with fake names butthurt because they couldn't have an event that draw thousands

    January 31, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    We all know the negative comments is coming from you 97.5 degenerates.

    I guarantee you that wigger Sean Brace wanted to be here and that coon Phil from Mt airy even though he will speak against the wing bowl now since he is a step n fetchit/waterboy for his white co-hosts at the fanatic,attended the wing bowl in the past annually.

  5. What is wrong with taking good pics of stripper whores to jerk off to later? They want to act like whores, i’ll treat em like whores.

    • Hizzoner Michael Gutter

      February 1, 2014 at 9:45 am

      You and the long-named commenter above you continue to prove the detractors point – that wing bowl fans are degenerates.

      Good job!!

      .

  6. No more creepy than attending this sleaze-fest in the first place!

    .

  7. Hahaha my man is going to have those mentals forever. You know he went right home to jerkoff

  8. Wow this guy has sexual predator written all over himself. Creep!!

  9. That fucking trashcan Bynum joins the Pacers. WTF. Can’t root for them to beat Miami now.

  10. This thing is for drunk white guys who have zero athletic ability. You think my main man Vick would be caught dead here? I’m sick of white people! And uh yeah probably the same people who think Silver Linings Playbook was a good movie….

  11. Huge Wingbowl Fan

    February 1, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    Man what a day!!! Never seen so many tities in my life!! Can’t wait to next years

    • Angelo's Inner Voice

      February 1, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      Good for you, sport. Maybe one day, you’ll evolve enough to be able to have a girlfriend, then, the sky’s the limit.

      If you need any advice, stop in at the station.

      .

      • Huge Wingbowl Fan

        February 1, 2014 at 6:34 pm

        It was a great day. It’s philly’s mardi gras. I got the best lap dance ever from skylar at cheerleaders afterwards

  12. That lens is what they use on the Hubble telescope lol

  13. Larry from the Regal Beagle

    February 1, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    Might be the creepiest guy ever.

  14. Another weekend without posts. It makes me fucking sick that this guy somehow makes a living off of us.

  15. So wait, the flyers beat the kings and theres no post? The flyers beat Richards and Carter, who, other than a few chances for carter, barely had an impact on the game? The two players who were apparently so vital to not only the kings success but the flyers awful play due to their absence? Even despite the fact that Voracek and Simmonds each have more points than carter and richards, not even including schenn and couturier in that equation. The two players Kyle loves to bring up at every opportunity as a means to insult objective, unbiased “type ob fans” get no mention this weekend? Oh, and one of the players who we got in those trades scored the game winning goal! Jeeze youd think thered be a post about all this — oh wait, it doesnt fit the narrative kyle wants so itll just get burried amongst super bowl coverage.

    • Didn’t the Kings recently win a cup?

      No one was bitching when he didn’t write an article about the Ducks embarrassing the Flyers. Don’t get me wrong I love the Flyers and the win, but you all look pathetic when you forget to analyze how vital Carter and Richards were in our 2010 run and the Kings cup. Glad regular season points is all you care about. Simmonds has 1 goal in 11 Flyers playoff games, Vorachek has 2 goals in those 11 games with the Flyers.

      Remember when Jeff Carter lead the league in postseason goals during the Kings Stanley Cup run? I guess not.

      • and i really doubt we trade JVR if we didn’t trade 2 forwards for 4. You know that guy with more goals than anyone on the Flyers?

  16. Man I sure am tired I worked over time on on the fryers for two weeks straight frying up all those wings for wing bowl

  17. FLYERS 2 Kings 0

    Goaltending wins the Cup. Mason stole that game.
    Three saves in a row on the doorstep ?

  18. 97.5 Wishes Wing Bowl Was Twice a Year

    February 2, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    Fucking creepy? As opposed to whom? The people who go to Wing Bowl “for the articles?”

  19. Anyone have the great actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the dead pool? One of my favorite actors and creator of the word “sharted”.
    Wish it was Bieber instead :(

  20. these are the same dheads that are tailgating for 4:00pm eagles game @ 7:00am in the morning-you know 50 yr old men wearing hugh douglas shirts and sneakers, wt

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