MCW Voila_Capture 2014-09-11_12-18-13_PM

The next time a stuffy Penn grad fills your timeline with self-righteous, better-than-thousness, you may submit to them this screenshot, which comes to us via Jake Pavorsky, from a UPENN newspaper. The best part, of course:

76ers’ Michael Carter Williams may be NBA Rookie of Year, but he’s clearly a player at Penn as well. This weekend the basketball star attended two off-campus parties and scored with an AXO girl. Sources tells us that the duo had a slam dunk of a weekend. MCW agreed to AXObey the desires of his temptress, and they left the party together. Dribble, shoot score.

AXObey. I just hired the guy who wrote that.

Also:

Voila_Capture 2014-09-11_12-09-36_PM

Penn motherfuckers are weird. I like it.