It's like "Paint by Numbers," only with sex, alcohol, and blown Game 6 scoring chances.

Jeff Carter will be paid $58 million over the next 11 seasons.  His contract includes a full no-trade clause through 2014-2015, and a limited NTC after that season.  The length of the contract allows the Flyers to lessen the salary cap hit, since Carts will be making $5 million or more over the first eight years of the deal ($3 mil or less the final three seasons). 

That's a long time, yo.

But just how long is 11 years and much is $58 million?

When Jeff Carter's contract finishes, Ryan Howard will still be standing at home plate, fetuses today will be fifth graders who never heard of "The Spectrum", Jamie Moyer will be attempting yet another comeback at age 58, Barack Obama will have been out of office for at least five years, and dancing Shawny will have two kids, a wife and lower back troubles.

With the $58 million, Carts will have full financial freedom.  He will be able to purchase:

-241,000 cases of Smirnoff Ice

-181,000 back-room lap dances

-2 more shore homes

-80 Porsche Cayennes

-1.4 million cans of Sun-In

-36,000 pairs of True Religion Jeans

-1,000 jet skis

-1.4 million cover charges at La Costa

… and he'll still have money left over to buy a giant red fist, a cowboy hat, and three douchey friends.  

Ah yes, the American Dream for a boy from Canada.