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Your #shitmaliksays Highlights
By Kyle Scott
Published:
via reader Heath, who is referring to this… just in case you were unaware
Before last night’s game I tweeted Malik Rose, informing him of #shitmaliksays and asking him to bring his A-game. He was appreciative: Lol. Wow!! Thanks man. Truly honored. Thank you. I'll be ready bro. Go SIXERS!!”
He didn’t disappoint.
Last night’s clear standout one-liner, judging by your Tweets, was Malik’s money shot comment to Marc Zumoff, who was either frightened… or had no idea what it really meant: [via reader Daniel]
Brilliant segue, Marc…
Does anyone get the sense that Zoo is basically playing the role of Taj from Van Wilder? Think about it, he spent years with The Mayor, Steve Mix, and then had to suffer through Eric Snow’s snoring last season. Now he’s teamed up with Rose– Negrodamus himself. In fewer than 10 games, Rose has already left Zoo speechless on several occasions, including last night’s money shot reference, which I imagine Zoo had to look up on Urban Dictionary (officially: The delicious moment when a male "artiste" let's fly into the face of his female co-star). It’s clear that he’s totally studying under Malik. By February, Zoo is going to be coming to games with a chain hanging low, 22-inch rims on his Malibu, and seven six-foot tall coeds from the Connecticut School of Broadcasting in tow. I can see it happening, and we'll have Malik to thank for it.
Most Indians would say “cow,” because they’re sacred. But I hear “milk,” I think giant jugs. I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving, to smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand. I want to do, how’s it? Park the porpoise? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it, wax it, waaax it. And air dry. Air dry that shit. I would like to be your assistant.
Wax it, Zoo.
Anyway, here are the other #shitmaliksays highlights from last night: [context provided where possible]
On the Sixers bench:
On Spencer Hawes blocking a shot:
…
On Jrue Holiday finishing with the left:
On his own musical talents:
On the Sixers' score 100 points, get McDonald's promotion:
On the Sixers game dragging on:
Kyle Scott is the founder and editor of CrossingBroad.com. He has written for CBS Philly and Philly Voice, and been a panelist or contributor on NBC Sports Philly, FOX 29 and SNY TV, as well as a recurring guest on 97.5 The Fanatic, 94 WIP, 106.7 The Fan and other stations. He has more than 10 years experience running digital media properties and in online advertising and marketing.