Skate Bites: The Flyers Murdered The Buffalo Sabres Last Night


Lindy Ruff facepalm via (@g81ross)

Ryan Miller is dead. He was 31. 

Miller is, by far, my favorite opponent for Philly teams to play against. He has it all: talented player at a position notorious for getting the best of local teams, whiny demeanor, vagina, and the propensity to completely and utterly lose his shit when he comes within 20 miles of our city’s center.

The Flyers beat the Sabres last night, 7-2. It would figure that, on the day I wrote 2,200 words about the issues plaguing the Flyers (and there are some), they would unload a steaming pile of goals all over the belly of my words. But that’s OK– I’m not complaining. I like it.

Things didn’t start off well for the Flyers, however. Early in the first period, it was Philly typical as Jason Pominville was left wide open for an easy one-timer: 

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If this happened in a video game, you would go on a message board somewhere and complain about the game’s shitty AI.

Then Bryz let in a Mister Softee, which was eerily reminiscent of (though significantly less important than) Claude Lemieux’s go-ahead goal in Game 5 of the 1995 Eastern Conference Finals. Chris Therien remembers it well: 

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I was on the couch, crying

It was all Flyers after the Sabres' two quick goals.

Max Talbot scored. Then, enter Wayne Simmonds, Silence of the Lambs:

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Well helll-ooo, Clarice!

Simmonds, who needed 25 stitches to his upper and lower lips thanks to taking a puck to the face in pre-game warmups, netted the Flyers’ second and third goals, which, fittingly, proved to be the kill shots for Sabres goalie Jhonas Enroth. He would be replaced by our favorite son, Ryan Miller. Here’s a fun stat: It was the third time in the last four games against the Sabres, dating back to Game 7 last year, that the Flyers forced them to pull their goalie. Heh.

Remember the last time?

image from

Surely by now you’ve figured out this whole Hannibal Lecter-kill shot motif, which takes its cues from our favorite post-game comments, perhaps ever, from Miller last year:

"Before we get any further, I’d just like to add one thing: If Mike Richards thinks we’re getting away with murder, I don’t know what he just got away with. Mass murder? [nice joke, asshole] Are we stepping it up a notch? Unbelievable. We lose a player for the rest of the game… that’s the kind of hit the league has been talking about, and it’s dangerous. They better seriously consider looking at that one. It’s unbelievable."


The video is here, to jog your memory.

And, last night, Miller once again couldn’t stop the Flyers’ barrage: Gustassssonsonastfsttfffsson, Talbot again, Voracek, Hartnell. 7-2, good guys. Here’s another stat: By my count, the Flyers have scored 12 goals in roughly 100 minutes, or five periods, against Ryan Miller this season. And, dating back to Game 7 last year, that number increases to 16 goals in 141 minutes, or roughly seven periods. Murdered.

This picture from the Flyers seems to sum up Miller's existence quite well:

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As reader Dave points out, after Gustasffsonsosffsosnsfons scored his goal last night, it appeared that the number 2 on his jersey was significantly larger than the 6. I know it could be an optical illusion, but when watching multiple angles (these are the things I do with my time…) the 2 does, in fact, appear to be larger than the 6.

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Now seems like a good time to show you this picture of Lindy Ruff's daughter wearing a Flyers hat… and the ensuing email I got from his son.


This comes from via reader Nolan:




Funny, but after the two early goals, Bryz did his job last night, which gets us this video from (@fakelavy) on Twitter:


For full game highlights and quotes, jump it over to the deuce.

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27 Responses

  1. Can’t blame Bryz or the defense for the first goal. It was my boy G who didn’t cover his goal.
    Goal 2 – I am with Bundy here. Disgrace
    Here comes Chirp to Bryz’s rescue…

  2. The Hannibal Lecter reference with Simmonds got a chuckle out of me. Good one, Kyle! Meanwhile, beating up on a bottom feeder like Buffalo didn’t convince me that the Flyers are back on track, not after losing to the big boys (Rangers, Red Wings) on the playground.

  3. Rob… seriously… what is your obsession with Chirp? Just ask the dude for his number already, go blow him and get it over with.

  4. LOL @ Astute…It is getting a little weird now isnt it?
    @Rob…I have nothing for the second goal. It was a bad one.
    Not an excuse but he had not played since Feb 7th and was sick. Does take a little to shake off some rest. Also after the bad goal he rebounded and did not let anything else in.
    Win, 2 GAA, .931 sv% I will take that. Bad goals happen to every goalie. I know Bryz has been given them up a little more frequently but since the All star break hes been pretty solid.
    Terrible first goal…wish I was a fly on the wall at first intermission to hear what Lavy had to say.
    @PhillyFlash, same thing I said last night. Win is a win but they should be beating up on teams like this. Maybe the goals will help for the upcoming games but they still need to prove they can hang with the top teams which they have not done too well this year…

  5. I gotta say, I don’t think Vorachek is getting the attention he deserves right now. He’s playing well defensively, backchecking and everything. And man, when he gets those legs moving through the neutral zone… look out. He showed the epitome of that when he set up Gustafsson’s goal. Then he absolutely dick-punched Ryan Miller on that fake out that allowed him to easily deposit his goal.
    I’m really impressed with him right now. That Carter trade is, I think, going to end up being one of- if not THE- best trades the Flyers have ever made.

  6. Agree JT. Probably one of the most under-rated players on this team. Problem is when the game gets physical thats when Vorcek dissappears.
    My shock is that nobody is riding Briere. 12 games now he hasnt scored and he has what 31 points so far and hes the highest cap hit player on the team. I know I know he shows up in the playoffs every year…well he is a vet and supposed to be stepping up when G cant do it all. Just wish we got more from him. He should be up around 60-70 points every year.
    Also, Talbot took that team on his shoulders last night. He stepped up and his effort turned that game around. Probably one of his best as a Flyer…

  7. Please don’t say Ryan Miller has a vagina. It’s an insult to those of us who have them.
    Solid game. Good to see Bryz not let a bad goal get to him. He made some great stops after that to keep them in the game when they were down by two.
    Some food for thought for the Bryz haters:
    Bryzgalov in 2012: .921 save%, 2.27GAA
    Bryzgalov post All Star Break: .944 save%, 1.42GAA
    That’s downright stellar stuff. If he can keep it up, that’s just what we need.

  8. Chirp, I hear you on the physicality for Voracek. But, he’s still young. He’ll probably still grow stronger, through offseason training and whatnot. He can also grow his confidence in being physical as he gets older and more comfortable in the league. I’m excited to see the progression for the next few years.
    Talbot was a beast last night, as he has been all season. I swore I’d never be able to like him, especially after he took Hextall’s 27. But man, you can’t argue with his game. He did have one of his best games as a Flyer last night, but he’s been proving it all year. This is by far his best season as a pro, let’s hope he keeps it going for the length of the contract.
    As far as Briere goes, I’m not down on him as much as I have been in years past. Yeah, I would like to see more out of him, but the fact is he does show up big in the playoffs every year. So, while you’d want more regular season production out of him, he goes in spurts putting up points. That’s always been his m.o. I used to flip out about it because of how high his cap hit is, but year after year in the playoffs he makes me happy he is a Flyer. I’ll take that over someone putting up big time regular season points and then disappearing in the playoffs *cough* Carter *cough*.

  9. Chocolate Tocchet showed some fuckin jam last night!24 stitches and he comes back outta the tunnel looking and playing like the Mack Titan. The move for Grossman is to replace Carle and add some size, brilliant. Homer’s being pragmatic and rightfully so with the inconsistency they’ve shown this season. of course all the Bryz critics will point at the second goal because they can get to full butterfly in 3/10 of a second. Sometimes a hockey game boys and girls is won between the bluelines with back checking and succesful transition play, that’s what happened last night. It’s not always about goalie play.

  10. Can someone explain secondary hockey assists to me? Seems like a touch of luck & some subjectivity from the official score keeper.

  11. @amy…lol He knows his stuff…but so do you it seems. Nice to see a woman that can talk hockey.
    @JT Agree he could be a great player. In Columbus he had a rep of giving up though. Just need to hope that doesnt happen and hes here to work hard. He only has a 1 (?) year deal too so depends what he asks for.
    @mm amen.

  12. giroux – 5 assists. i dont think that has been mentioned. 5. thats awesome
    @casusal – secondary assists can be given even when a player hits has the puck knocked away from him by an opposing player, as long as there is no possession by the other team. crosby gets a lot of them. not to say he doesnt get a lot of primary assists and goals.

  13. Chirp – the comment about exchanging numbers was a different Amy. Not me, the commenter about Bryz, haha.
    Fuck you, Joe. Get your own damn sandwich.

  14. @Amy…oh haha…well I still love you…
    Maybe Kyle should have people sign up for this site so they have a set username….no?

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