Food, gimmicks, trinkets! The Phillies have new who’s its and what’s its galore for you to spend your hard-earned cash on.
Let’s delve.
In a press release yesterday, the Phillies announced some of the new items on-sale this year at Citizens Bank Park. You can view the entire list after the jump. But, as far as merchandise goes, there are just more everyday items with a Phillies “P” blasted on them. Yoga mats? Check.
You can also buy champagne corks from previous clinching celebrations.
I felt that last one deserved its own paragraph… just like this one.
But what we’re really interested in are the new food items. Last year the team added some healthy options (panini, wraps, etc). This year– FATTY CORPUSCLES! And I like it!
Dessert Alley: Satisfy those sweet-tooth cravings at Dessert Alley behind Section 140! Choose from an incredible selection of goodies including homemade cinnamon sugar donuts, Gina’s homemade cupcakes, hand-spun milkshakes, ice cream bar with hand-dipped ice cream and candy toppings, fresh funnel cake and hand-scooped water ice.
Oh wow. Dana, my little 95 lb grazer*, suddenly wants to go to more games .
*I called her at work to make sure it was OK to make a fat joke (ALWAYS DO THIS, GENTLEMEN), and her response as I read the offerings was: “Mmmmmm, oh my… mmm.”
Nachos and Tacos: Fans craving cuisine from south of the border can head over to Section 122 and enjoy Ancho Pepper Braised Pork Nachos (ancho pepper braised pork, nacho cheese, fresh-cut tomato salsa, fresh jalapenos and sour cream), BBQ Chicken Nachos (slow-roasted chicken braised in barbecue sauce with nacho cheese, black beans, fresh-cut tomato salsa and sour cream), Pork Tacos (cilantro-lime pork, fresh-cut pico, crispy cabbage and shredded cheddar cheese) and Chicken Tacos (chipotle-garlic chicken, fresh-cut pico, crispy cabbage and shredded cheddar cheese).
See, this is dangerous. This can go horribly, horribly wrong at a ballpark when it’s 95 degrees out. The chicken tacos are probably simple enough. And while the other options sound tasty, we’re going to need an independent auditor on this… which will be me next week.
New Paninis and Black Bean Burgers: These fan favorites are back but with a twist. New additions include the Chicken Pesto Panini (chicken breast, spinach, ricotta, provolone, red pepper, pesto) and Italian Market Panini (cappicola, Genoa salami, pepperoni, provolone, red onion, pepperoncini, tomato, Italian vinaigrette) – all located behind Sections 125, 204 and 321. Fans can also enjoy Southwestern Black Bean Burgers, complete with guacamole and salsa, behind Sections 128, 140, 206 and 323.
Those sound horrible, actually.
Bullpen Brews: (behind the bullpens on Ashburn Alley) This new addition features domestic, import, regional and micro brews.
I’m pretty sure there was already a Beers of the World here, so………
ONE FINAL THING, IN CASE ANYONE FROM THE PHILLIES IS PAYING ATTENTION: One of last year's new items, Yogen Fruz, was delicious. But, FIGURE OUT A WAY TO SHORTEN THE LINES!!!!! There were two stands, open for what seemed like two innings, operated by cousins of Opie from Family Guy. The treat was – by far – the best dessert item in the ballpark, and it was barely accessible. Please fix, thanks.
Video and a full list of new items is after the jump. Caution, the novelty items might insult your intelligence.