Your Monday Morning Roundup: Beards, Jennifer Lawrence, and Andrew Bynum is Selling His Car on eBay

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Photo: Getty

I’m not sure why everyone is making such a big deal about the beards on the red carpet – Clooney, Cooper, Affleck – I’ve been rocking the love scruff for years, yet nary a peep from E! pundits following my FOX Good Day appearance last year. Seems Clooney et al. are just catching up to the trend.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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– March Madness is coming up, so you’d be wise to start following our friends at Godfather Locks (@GodfatherLocks) for their daily picks (winners, if you will). Get 30% off a weekly subscription with code Crossing.

– We’re having an NHL 13 tournament this Wednesday at 8:30 at Chickie’s and Pete’s Play2 in South Philly. Preliminary rounds will be played on both Xbox 360 and PS3, with the final rounds played on system voted on by participants. 

– Next month at Drinker's— Early Jim Carey Movie Quizzo. Check back soon for details.

Meet Ben Revere on Saturday April 20 at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall from 11-12:30. Details and tickets here.

– Need apparel? Pick up Philly Phaithful’s Clearwater Dreamint-shirt or, if you’re looking for something a bit more retro, check out Monkey’s Uncle in Doylestown or online for vintage Flyers gear. Take $10 of orders of $50 or more with code BULLIES

 

The roundup:

– Roy Halladay pitched well yesterday, allowing only one (home) run in two innings of work. Toriiiiii Hunter described Doc as filthy: [Philly.com]

"Filthy," said new Detroit rightfielder Torii Hunter, a longtime American Leaguer who sparred with Halladay for close to a decade when the Phillies righthander played in Toronto. "He's always filthy to me. He threw me a splitter. He rarely threw me a splitter or changeup when I faced him in the past. He's totally different.

"I haven't faced him in a couple of years. But he looks good. Fastball was sneaky. He had the ball sinking, cutting. He was in and out of the zone. This is the first start, right? If he gets better from here, it's scary. Which you know [he will]."

"Sneaky fastball. It had late life – you see it and, whooomph!" Hunter said, continuing his scouting report. "I mean, we had no chance. He looks like he's already ready [for the season]."

 

Good to see, because last year around this time, Doc was fighting off (accurate) reports of his demise. And judging by that comment about the splitter, Doc seems to be reinventing himself the way so many aging aces have done before him. Greg Maddux approves of this method. And somewhere, Jamie Moyer nods his head while a nurse feeds him porridge. 

– Michael Schwimer can go screw. In August, he complained about being sent to the minors instead of being placed on the DL, and it was only a matter of time before his whiny demeanor and subpar pitching bought him a ticket out of town. He was traded to Toronto this weekend, and had this to say when comparing his new team to the old one: [National Post]

“This is different,” he said with a smile on Sunday morning. “My initial impression is that it’s a lot more relaxed than the Phillies’ locker room was. Everybody’s having fun, kind of doing their own thing, happy. The Phillies [clubhouse] was a lot more kind of regimented and plan-oriented.”

The Phillies had a plan last August for Schwimer, but he defied it. They wanted to send him down to Triple-A, but he said he was unable to pitch because of a biceps injury. The Phillies did not believe him. He refused to report to the minors, went home and arranged his own treatment.

He said he has been fully recovered since late October. As for his dispute with the Phillies, he said, “I’ve been advised to not comment on the issue.” Several reports suggested that the players’ association is investigating.

 

Get out and stay out.

The Sixers fucking suck.

– Ilya Bryzgalov’s thoughts on space have turned themselves into a Buzzfeed post.

– Jason Kelce is now an ordained minister, and, apparently, he got his degree (?) online:

– Andrew Bynum is the worst business man alive.

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He is selling his Ferrari, with 7k miles on it, for $200k on eBay. Besides that sentence being kind of ridiculous by itself, it gets worse when you read that Bynum dumped over $200k in upgrades into the $200k car (math tells me the car wound up costing about $400k), which means that Bynum will take a $200k bath on a car he drove around the block (and perhaps to the strip club) a few times.

– Finally, here’s the difference between the nerdy Anne Hathaway (around 4:30 mark), who looks crazier by the day, and Jennifer Lawrence, who seems like the coolest actress of all-time– “I'm sorry, I did a shot! Jesus.”

Videos after the jump.


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8 Comments

  • ThePhillyFlash February 25, 2013 at 10:03 am

    Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) vs. Catwoman (Anne Hathaway). I’ll take Catwoman in that fight. As for Schwimer, good riddance to bad rubbish. If there’s a reason his new locker room is more laid back than his old one is because nobody gives a rat’s ass about baseball in Toronto, so there’s no reason for the players to feel any pressure to succeed.

    Reply
  • 3 Finger Lenny February 25, 2013 at 10:12 am

    I would love to lick Stacy Kiebler’s legs, puss & ah

    Reply
  • Argon February 25, 2013 at 10:29 am

    In the words of Maynard James Keenan, fuck these dysfunctional, insecure actresses.

    Reply
  • Sally4th February 25, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Clooney was actually sporting two beards last night. Not such a big secret out in HOllywood.

    Reply
  • m February 25, 2013 at 11:47 am

    no info about the nhl13 tourny on the link to chickie and pete’s website. more info about it would be cool…

    Reply
  • Scott DePace February 25, 2013 at 11:52 am

    Turkeys are done, Anne Hathaway.

    Reply
  • Ron Hipple February 25, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    I would love to smell clooney’s beard

    Reply
  • What Argon said February 26, 2013 at 11:25 am

    ^

    Reply
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