And somehow… that's a metaphor for our country.
Michael Vick wasn’t the only person who was kinda clueless about the Eagles' bargain binning. Only the most hardened NFL scriptuals and insiders could recall detailed scouting reports on the Birds' five signees, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing (we saw the way recent big-name signings have worked out for the Eagles, Phillies… Flyers… and, sigh, Sixers). The Eagles' five moves yesterday are getting grammatical plaudits from the pundits, including NFL.com’s Chris Wesseling, who particularly liked the signings of Bradley Fletcher, Patrick Chung and James Casey:
A physical press corner, Fletcher somehow landed in the St. Louis Rams' coaching staff's doghouse last season while Pro Football Focus credits him with 0.52 yards per snap in coverage, the lowest rate of any cornerback in the NFL. He was ninth on Around the League's list of free-agent cornerbacks this year.
Chung is another talented defender who's coming off a disappointing season in which he fell out of favor with his coaches. He's reunited with head coach Chip Kelly, who was offensive coordinator at Oregon during Chung's final two seasons in Eugene. He immediately becomes the best safety on the Eagles' roster.
It's interesting that the Eagles announced Casey as a tight end, since he was underutilized as a fullback in Houston. His price tag of $14.5 million over three years is proof that Kelly values him as a versatile weapon in the passing game. Casey had generated a ton of interest around the league, with at least 14 teams ringing his agent's phone.
In the words of the great Lou Williams: Well alright. The Eagles are – gasp! – building a team. And this is what team-building in the NFL looks like:
Eeps. Least sexy free agent signing period ever. Of course, Paul Holmgren spends every July 1 wearing nothing but a bike helmet and a tankini while unstably shooting free agent targets on his PS3 screen with a modded Dunk Hunt gun… and we see how that’s worked out.
H/T to Mr. Taste It in the comments