You seem like you’re not that interested in me. And that’s fine. Just tell me and I’ll stop calling. I can take it. [Even though they were a clingy and borderline psychotic mess and, no, they couldn’t take it.]
No, no. It’s not that at all. I just have a lot going on. Busy at work, have some family parties, lots of laundry. I’ll see you in three Fridays from now. Looking forward to you coming with me to my buddy’s to watch UFC. Then maybe we’ll go out for ice cream? [Even though you knew you weren’t taking them out for ice cream and would make same lame, soul-crushing excuse about the main event going too many rounds and having to get up early on Saturday morning to clean out your trunk, when really you had another Match.com date.]
Both of you knew you were full of shit, but you went along with it until they eventually grew the man or lady balls to tell you to F off, which, horrifyingly, took them an entire summer and a week.
That’s what I feel like Paul Holmgren is doing to Ilya Bryzgalov and his agent, Rich Winter, right now:
If you’re going to buy my client out, that’s fine. He’ll take his $20 million plus and laugh at you. Just let us know so we can start identifying potential landing spots. We can take it. [Even though they are a clingy and borderline psychotic mess and, no, they can’t take it.]
No, no. No plans to do that. Just exploring all options. I mean yeah, there was that time I traded best friends and 20 years worth of contracts after I gave them the same assurance… but, really, no plans to buy him out. Looking forward to seeing him at camp three months from now. [Even though Holmgren knows he’s going to shoot Bryz in the back sometime in the next seven days.]
Yet, Winter doesn’t seem to know that Homer is full of shit. He’s still trying to justify what the mad man is telling him. [Even though all of Winter’s friends are rolling their eyes.] That was again the case when he spoke to our good buddy Randy Miller of the Courier Post:
“Paul Holmgren told me they have no current plans to buy out Ilya Bryzgalov,” Winter told to the Courier-Post on Friday from his office near Edmonton. “That said, things can change. Right? The skies could fall.”
“Holmgren is not the kind of guy to sit back after the team missing the playoffs and do nothing,” said Winter, who is founder and CEO of The Sports Corporation. “You would expect that he would call everybody about everything. That’s his job.
“I can’t say anymore. I don’t speculate and I don’t care that others do. I think it’s completely irresponsible (saying Bryzgalov will or won’t be bought out) because the Flyers haven’t made that decision. And so, I am left to rely on simply what Paul told me.”
Relying on what Paul told you, that’s how relationships die. Well, not relationships, but short-term courtships. That’s how they die.