Your Monday Morning Roundup: Playoffs

Photo credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

For the first time in nearly two years, a playoff series in this town. This week we learn to hate New York again.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

WolfofBroadStFinal

T-shirts. Playoff gear. Get one.

Doc. Meet Roy Halladay at Sports Vault this December. Details and tickets here.

Free ride. Uber is sponsoring us this month and offering CB readers a FREE ride up to $20. All you have to do is signup and provide some basic information. Great service. Great offer. Great way to support the site.

Tickets. Flyers playoff tickets starting at $78 on Crossing Broad Tickets.

 

The roundup:

From the weekend:

A.J. Burnett might be hurt.

Giancarlo Stanton smells good.

Dan Bylsma, who is on the current version of Say Yes to the Dress, is a douche. H/T to reader Ryan

DeSean Jaccson in a Dolphins hat in Miami (though fashion editor Dan Fuller has pointed out that it’s a Pink+Dolphin hat that is going for $120 on eBay… though I think Dan is overestimating the decision making process of DeSean).

Malkamania Penguins fan was kicked out on Saturday for harassing Pierre McGuire.

Jimmy Rollins to fan: “Shut the fuck up.”

Chase Utley is en fuego:

In 46 plate appearances this season, Utley is hitting a ridiculous .500 with a 1.440 OPS. He has hit safely in all 10 games he’s played. He has a 15-game hitting streak stretching back to last season, the third longest streak of his career.

Utley launched an eighth-inning, game-winning solo home run Sunday in the Phillies’ 4-3 victory over the Marlins. The second baseman went 3 for 4 with that RBI and scored another run as the Phillies completed a home sweep of Miami.

I have fantasies that start like this… they end with Chase Utley holding me on a windswept balcony. Let’s just forget about the middle.

LeSean McCoy says his toddler is better than Tim Tebow.

Don’t Tweet terrorism jokes at American Airlines.

Bubba Watson won the Masters and then, with his wife, Claire Underwood, went to Waffle House:

pic via (@judahsmith)

pic via (@judahsmith)

Slightly different than Justin Rose’s post-major meal in Conshohocken.

Phillies fans did Daniel Bryan’s “YES!” chant at CBP yesterday. I actually love this and think it should replace the wave. I also imagine this is what B.J. Rosenberg does after sex.

Jeff Francoeur’s AAA teammates convinced him that one of their teammates was deaf. Great prank. Terrible video editing:

Saturday was the first time ever the Flyers scored an OT goal and the Phillies hit a walk-off home run.

At least stay awake to see Chase bat:

pic via (@timmyquigs)

pic via (@timmyquigs)

This marriage should last:

Voila_Capture 2014-04-14_08-55-54_AM
Voila_Capture 2014-04-14_08-56-07_AM

Flyers fans in Pittsburgh:

pic via (@wheresBaldo14)

pic via (@wheresBaldo14)

The most notable thing in this photo is the implication that people still wear American Eagle.

Chip Kelly’s amateur athlete tour took him to Citizens Bank Park this weekend for the Phillies and Marlins:

Voila_Capture 2014-04-14_08-59-22_AM

Photo: Phillies

After this photo was taken, Chip asked Sandberg why he hasn’t cut “that thug Domonic Brown” yet. KIDDING. Jokes, people. Jokes.

Worst person in the KOP Mall on Saturday. Shouldn’t it be 2 Gether?

pic via (@ryanfromUD)

pic via (@ryanfromUD)

Phil Ivey is being sued by the Borgata for $9 million:

According to the suit, in April 2012, Ivey contacted Borgata to arrange a high-stakes game of baccarat in which he agreed to wire a deposit of $1 million and a maximum bet at $50,000 per hand.

Ivey also made special arrangements, including having a private area, or pit, a casino dealer who spoke Mandarin Chinese, one eight-deck shoe of purple Gemaco playing cards to be used for each session of the play, and an automatic card shuffling device.

Borgata said in the lawsuit that Ivey told them he made these requests because he was superstitious.

But the casino’s suit allege Ivey knew there was a defect in the cards and the requests were made so he could “surreptitiously manipulate what he knew to be a defect” to gain an unfair advantage over Borgata.

So a world-famous gambler calls your casino, basically creates his own really strange terms for a game, and then deposits $1 million into his account… and this didn’t raise any red flags? I’m going to bring a set of Uno cards to the Borgata this weekend for some high limit blackjack.

No, Philly.com. No. It’s next Monday:

Voila_Capture 2014-04-14_09-11-02_AM

Love this. Artist merges new and old photos of Philadelphia.

This man, Bill Smith, from Main Line Animal Rescue, won’t give a family its dog back because it ran away and they didn’t call Main Line Animal Rescue first:

Voila_Capture 2014-04-14_09-17-01_AM

A Facebook page, Send Flash Home, has been created so this power-tripping jackass will return the dog. Here’s the email address if you want to encourage Bill to do the right thing: info@MLAR.org.

Citizens Bank Park attendance this weekend, the first weekend of the season, with very nice weather:

22,283

27,760

34,272

Children’s drawings of Phillies lineup.

Jordan Spieth has already earned more than $5.7 million. He’s 20.

Reporter loses mind at Minnesota hockey riot.

Orioles ballgirl makes a nice play.

AT&T True Detective:

 

Podcasts

On Crossing Streams, Kevin, Dave and I discuss the DeSean Jaccson situation. New one coming this week. Listen or downloadSubscribe with iTunesListen with Stitcher. All are mobile-friendly links.

Dan and I discuss on Cord Snipped the new Amazon TV and watching Phillies games online.  Listen or downloadSubscribe with iTunesOr listen with Stitcher. All are mobile-friendly links.

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35 Comments

  • Flyers token playoff apearance April 14, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Who are we trying to kid here,the Flyers have absolutely no chance of beating the Rangers.

    The Rangers goalie will show Steve Mason and Ray Emery the meaning of a goalie standing on his head.

    Rangers in five.

    • Ted Danson April 14, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      The fact that you refer to Henrik Lundqvist as “the Rangers goalie” invalidates your pick.

  • Mike Damone April 14, 2014 at 9:54 am

    looks like Chip got that shirt out of the hamper

  • step 3: make her open the box April 14, 2014 at 10:00 am

    I knew it was going to be a lousy day when 30 sec after waking up, Levi called in at 6:35 to complain about Utley hitting .500.

    • Arthur Correctness April 14, 2014 at 10:27 am

      I heard that what a racist loser Levi is. Levi never had a good day in his life

  • Unnnnh Turd Plop April 14, 2014 at 10:01 am

    That girl in KOP mall must use Tmac’s tailor. Shirts are sized for a reason.

    Call me when the Flyers are in the finals.

    Chase Utley is a golden god.

    Bubba Watson looks like an extra in Witness.

    If that guy held my dog hostage I would find him, beat him to a bloody pulp and then piss all over his lacerated face. You don’t mess with a man’s dog or a man’s car. Fucking Main Line douchebags.

  • mk April 14, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Learn to hate New York again? The Rangers have always been my most hated NHL team.

  • K Shaw April 14, 2014 at 10:09 am

    Sucks for the Rangers, I’m betting they would love to see anyone else besides the Flyers in the playoffs.

  • teamozzy April 14, 2014 at 10:14 am

    I know for years Kyle has plugged the sponsors first on his MMR, which is fine because they are paying him. But why is he plugging his own crossing broad shirts as if they are a real sponsor? Is it a separate entity? Is he paying himself?

  • Utley/Lee/Me/Bukkake April 14, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Kyle do u want to see my Lee/Utley slashfiction and join my writing group

  • Skippy April 14, 2014 at 10:25 am

    The following callers should be banned from Philly sports talk radio:
    Levi from Overbrook Park
    Adam from Warminister
    Jeff from Camden
    Gus from Allentown
    Aj from Plowville
    Mitch from East Windsor
    AJ from West Philly
    Jose from Norristown
    Cowboy Dave
    Mike from South Philly
    Charles from the Northeast
    Murray from Mayfair
    Steve from KOP
    Franl from West Virginia
    Marlon from West Philly
    Jeff from the airport
    No-teeth Steve from Glenside.

    • Ron Shelly April 14, 2014 at 10:35 am

      Angry al
      Tony from the barbershop
      Mitchie tools
      Chuck from Drexel hill
      Plano love guy
      Lee from Allentown
      Flyer Rob
      Como Jim

      • UncleLeo April 14, 2014 at 10:36 am

        Violations Greg – dude is trying too hard

      • KC Armstrong April 14, 2014 at 10:41 am

        top 5 most awful from that list…
        1) Murray from Mayfair
        2)Levi
        3)Flyer rob
        4)Cowboy Dave
        5)Mitchie Tools

        • Leon Nor April 14, 2014 at 10:47 am

          South philly Santa
          Sean from Pinehill
          Any Doctor who calls in to talk injuries

          • Martinez's Bad K-Mart Suits April 14, 2014 at 12:48 pm

            Arthur and Ingy

          • Martinez's Bad K-Mart Suits April 14, 2014 at 12:49 pm

            I forgot annoying fucking Levi

      • Skippy April 14, 2014 at 10:44 am

        Lol them too,it’s not fair that the above mentioned individuals take up airspace and prevent first time callers from Getting through.

        • Informed April 14, 2014 at 11:05 am

          theyre all gargano and ellis cronies! its one big suck fest when these individuals call. the best is when they call and give the ultimate kiss ass comment of, “you guys are so great…you get me through my work day!”

    • Former WIP Honcho Tom Bigby April 14, 2014 at 4:25 pm

      Wow, the fact that you KNOW all these names, and took the time to type them in indicates that you spend too much time listening to sportstalk radio.

      It’s spring. Go outside and play in the fresh air, or if you’re in your car, play some upbeat music. Those radio clowns (hosts and callers) will eventually sap your will to live.

      .

  • Guesty McGuest April 14, 2014 at 10:56 am

    You guys are missing what’s about to happen here in the Flyers/Rangers series: we’ve lost in that arena for what, 2 years straight? That trend can’t continue for too much longer…its the law of averages, we’re due for a win!

  • Andy Schreiber April 14, 2014 at 10:59 am

    That prank on Frenchy by his El Paso teammates was pretty awesome.

    I hope the Padres call him up to the big league club soon, so we can heckle him.

  • You got a winner in town April 14, 2014 at 11:03 am

    Phillies are going to shock the world and win it all this year. Utley is going to carry the team and when Hamels comes back the Phillies pitching staff rivals any other staff. It’s all coming together now. Timely hitting and a bullpen that is rounding into form. This is the year of mediocrity in baseball as most teams are playing around .500 ball.

    • A Moron April 14, 2014 at 11:13 am

      Yeah! I knew when the Brewers swept them and they made the powerhouse Cubs and Marlins look bad that we were going all the way this year.

  • Scott April 14, 2014 at 11:11 am

    I hate Bubba Watson’s fake hillbilly schtick.

  • AS April 14, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Bubba Watson just won the Masters and is at the Waffle House hours later….you think the dude would finally unbutton his stupid top button on his shirt. It looks so uncomfortable and he looks like he is in 2nd grade.

  • Johnny Together April 14, 2014 at 11:55 am

    Why you bustin on my shirt?

  • JeffJuden April 14, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    Last time I checked, Tebow has won a playoff game, something LeSean ‘Baby Mama Drama’ McCoy has never done.

    • ThePhillyFlash April 14, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      And Trent Dilfer has more Super Bowl wins than Dan Marino. Who gives a rat’s ass about what Tebow did?

  • chris April 14, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Oh my god, a 2ge+her reference. Thank you for that

  • Budweiser April 14, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    I can fill in your Utley lovefest blank. You go to Macnow’s shitty gay brewery then Chase bends you over and does you bare back as Glen watches and masterbates. You then moan something about the blonde guy from Cheers being “The Yellow King.” About right?

    • Phil From Mt Airy April 14, 2014 at 12:31 pm

      LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!

  • bean April 14, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    FYI, the American Eagle corporate headquarters are located in Pittsburgh hence the ad. The company is actually massive and bigger than it’s ever been. The target market is ages 15-25 which is probably why you never see their clothes anymore.

    • Woody Allen April 14, 2014 at 1:06 pm

      I can confirm that target market. Anyone want to sit on my lap?

  • Mikey Mess April 15, 2014 at 1:16 am

    Looks like McCoy is going to replace Jaccson as the biggest pain-in-the-ass black player on the Eagles.

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