Your Monday Morning Roundup: A COMPLETE BLACK0UT

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5-1. A stomping of the Giants. BLACK0UT. Flying. Road to victory. All that and more.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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Amazon. You probably shop there. If so, click our link as we get a small commission for referring the sale.

Tickets. We have the best available tickets for Eagles games on the secondary market rounded up at Crossing Broad Tickets.

NRG. Congrats to Mandy on winning two tickets to THE BLACKOUT.
https://twitter.com/MandyShaq/status/521384049722785792

 

The roundup:

Absurdly misleading cover of the NY Daily News and Mike Missanelli’s explanation for Tweet.

Banner fail.

The shutout made Trent Cole think of Jim Johnson:

“Oh, man I remember Jim would always talk about never getting a shutout. We came so close,” Cole said holding his finger and thumb close together. “But we never got it. I know it bothered him. He really wanted one.

“Now we got that goose egg and it feels good. We did it. We shut them out.”

Ruben Frank on what the win means:

The Eagles, who took the field knowing the Cowboys had won in Seattle, answered the Cowboys’ statement with one of their own. The Cowboys are 5-1, the Eagles are 5-1, and we’ve got ourselves a race. That was a statement win by the Cowboys, but the Eagles made a statement of their own later in the evening.

Sproles’ injury is reportedly a sprained MCL with just about perfect timing going into the bye week.

Lane Johnson called the hit that injured him “cheap shot.”

Connor Barwin doesn’t understand Eli: “Eli was holding the ball, and it allowed us to get a couple of extra seconds to get to him. I don’t know why he was doing that, but it really worked out for us.”

From behind the end zone, it sounded like Boyz II Men were performing underwater, but here is their halftime performance — bonus “End of the Road” points.

Chip loves being at home:
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The Birds finally got that “A” from Domo that they can tell their parents about.

People are joking by voting for the Redskins here, right?
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*Not counting the playoffs:
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Even with the win, and an all-around game, Foles still made some interesting decisions, and now leads the league with 10 turnovers.

Cole Hamels was double-fisting Coors Lights during the tailgate:

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Is this a Giants fan getting a handy in the parking lot? Email from reader Jeff:

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What do you think? Later she blew massive chunks. Very classy chick.

Flyers prospect and first round draft pick Sam Morin took a puck to the face and will have surgery to repair a fractured jaw today. He’ll be out 4-5 weeks. The video:

Other Flyers injury updates:

Vincent Lecavalier will be out for two weeks with a lower-body injury.

Nicklas Grossmann is getting over a stomach virus and will miss today’s practice.

Cool.

Bill Belichick struggles with microphone. “Stupid thing.

Vaginas are only theoretical constructs to these guys:

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[UPDATE: Also pictured– N64’s wife.]

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Hey, the Chargers’ team bus was egged by Raiders fans. BUT THIS DRUNK GIRL STOLE A LEG IN PHILLY.

Merrill Reese apparently called the Eagles “The Black Knights of the Schuylkill.” Hot.

The Giants stomped all over the Eagles logo before the game:

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That worked out well. Brandon Boykin’s reaction to this? “27-0.” And Boykin on Jason Pierre-Paul’s bad math: “I think he can add this loss.”

Donovan McNabb erst do not language Eagles and dumb is:

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Mike Trout is my sexception:

via Howard Eskin
via Howard Eskin

The one positive of the Cruz thing is that the Philly fan stole a prosthetic leg narrative may be washed away and restriced to use as a crutch by pricks like La Confora:

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Here’s the full transcript of Bob Costas’ halftime poem on the Dallas Cowboys. Thanks, Bob.

I honestly think Chip Kelly may be farting here.

THOSE MONGREL FANS! AREN’T THEY SENSITIVE TO THE HORROR FACED BY THE NIGERIAN ABDUCTEES?!

via John Clark
via John Clark

Josh Elliot lives for human interest stories:

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But I agree that Cruz seems like a good dude.

YEAH, JAKE TAPPER!

Screen Shot 2014-10-13 at 9.43.05 AM Screen Shot 2014-10-13 at 9.43.11 AMReferee Clete Blakeman was screwing up the signals all night:

That’s not the sign for holding. H/T to reader Matt

Kacie McDonnell is engaged.

John POWERS showed up to the Union game this weekend.

Katie Nolan is great.

 

Podcast

If you haven’t heard our interview with Tony Bruno yet, you are absolutely missing out. It’s fantastic. Listen. Bruno’s podcast will debut at the Jug Handle at 7 p.m. tonight. See you there.

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18 Responses

  1. Time to complain about the least important photo in there, but here goes:
    I know it’s been forever since most of us have been able to watch the Phillies without vomiting, that’s a picture of Cliff Lee, not Cole Hamels.
    I guess all rich white guys look alike, huh?

      1. Cole has much darker hair. Plus he looks like a goofy college kid with a beard. That’s Cliff. Google ‘Cole Hamels beard’, click on the images, and then tell me I’m wrong.

  2. Don’t be fooled sheeple. I’m gone and I ain’t coming back. Your grandmother could have run through those holes last night.

  3. After the best Eagles win in over a year and the comments today have been just terrible.

    Keep up the great work

  4. (Realizes the beatdown that just took place and another lost season upon them) “How many Super Bowls do you have!”

  5. How about changing that lame “We’re from Philly and We Fight” (ps so corny, you’d get beat up in any town wearing this) to a Riley Cooper “I’ll fight any (one or do a “fill in the blanks” underline) in here!” t-shirt?

  6. All he ever does is Tweet out photos of selfies with athletes. He reminds me of a 13 year old girl getting a selfie with Taylor Swift.

  7. Heyyyyyy Mikey Missssss is it a violation for any self-respecting Philly sports fan to buy one of those p.o.s. t-shirts off crossingfraud.com?

    MAJOR VIOLATION

    Seriously, chill out with the merchandise Kyle. “We’re from philly and we fight!” is the gayest cornyest shirt. You deserve to get beat up, even wearing that shirt in Philly.

    Mike Miss out.
    PS I knew Cruz was injured when I tweeted that, LOLs.

  8. Of course your monday morning round up had to mention the traffic whores engagement. Fuck her , let it be. Saturday nights are gonna be rough beating off to her twitter selfies.

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