Deadspin Gets Bored, Decides to Bash the Sixers Again

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It’s February. It’s slow. It’s cold. It’s hard, at times, to find something to write about. When that happens here, we do AMAs, or we record a podcast, or honestly, we do nothing. At Deadspin, they bash the Sixers to pass the time.

It started before the season , and continued, and continued. As the team improved — this, as always, is all relative — and people started talking about Robert Covington and Jerami Grant as legit NBA players, Deadspin stayed silent. Until Pablo Torre wrote what we called “The Definitive Article of the Sam Hinkie Era.” Which allowed Deadspin writer Albert Burneko to vomit words that, when swept together, form a pile of self-righteous nonsense.

Torre’s piece, simply based around the idea that Sam Hinkie is unproven yet undeserving of the nonsense that’s been thrown his way, has just inspired more nonsense. Burneko got all fired up and angrily-scrawled 1,900 words under the headline “The 76ers Are Run By A Ridiculous TED-Humping Moron.” And he didn’t even credit Charles Barkley for the assist on that headline.

Before we get into this, let’s look at the Sixers’ season results going back to their last championship in 1982-83, on the left, with what they’re trying to avoid becoming, the Denver Nuggets, on the right:

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Cool. Get it? A championship is the goal here. They don’t want to be that team on the left anymore. And if they kept on that path, it’s likely they’d become the team on the right– the Nuggets, who missed the playoffs the last two years, went to the Western Conference finals once in the last 12, and exited the playoffs in the first round the other nine. They’re currently 20-33, looking at another season of missing the playoffs. They are the definition of mediocre, and there’s no sign they won’t continue on that path.

So Sam Hinkie’s plan to blow it all up and start over again, when you compare it to very real situations in the NBA today, isn’t insane. In fact, it’s common sense. But to Burneko and people like him, Hinkie is “convinced that he’s fighting—and winning—a shadow war against the rest of the NBA.” He’s “a moron and a fraud.” I’m not sure when Burneko became possessed by Angelo Cataldi, but someone should check on him.

Burneko loses the plot when he says Hinkie acquired “nothing of note from the later parts of the draft.” Sure, we don’t know where K.J. McDaniels or Grant would fit into another team’s rotation, but on the team they play for, they’re developing, improving, and becoming serious role players, or at least assets. Ahead of McDaniels, the Thunder drafted Josh Huestis, who went right into the D-League. Two picks before the Sixers took Grant, the Toronto Raptors drafted DeAndre Daniels, who currently suits up for the Perth Wildcats in Australia. Hinkie snatched up Robert Covington, a legitimate three-point threat, when no one else was even paying any attention to him. Or, as Burneko puts it, Hinkie is “a fucking dunce.”

Burneko was too busy putting together his quippy, masturbatory rant about how the Sixers are a disgrace to professional basketball to realize:

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Burneko, and the CataldiEskinolonis of the world, just want to bash the Sixers because it’s the cool thing to do. Because if this doesn’t work, Hinkie will be fired, Sixers fans will be mad, and the talking heads will pat themselves on the back. If it works, they’ll all pretend that their words were never written. So bookmark it, and save it in a soft, warm spot for retrieval later.

[Editor’s note: This might be a bad time for this, but I find Burneko hilarious, even if his steak-stearing procedure nearly burned down my house.]

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22 Responses

  1. The Sixers aren’t getting better.

    Big deal they’ve won 30% of their games since they started the season 0-20 or whatever it was. Nobody care. It’s not working. It won’t work until 5 years down the line when Embiid and Saric are established and we find out just how good they are.

    All your Jakar Sampsons, Henry Sims and Robert Covingtons mean nothing. So do his 300 2nd round picks. Its meaningless. Everything that happens this year is meaningless. Either Embiid is Hakeem II or the Sixers will continue to be a worthless organization.

    But Jim…simple minded hipster dork Jim…will defend all the cum shots he’s taken from Spin Master O’Neill. He will defend pathetic nerd dork paranoid creepster Hinkie who is freaking me the fuck out. Get over yourself, Sam. You are the GM of a basketball team. It’s not a big deal.

    1. Except by all indications, Embiid is going to be a beast. Check on video of him during shooting drills (from this past month) How many big man can shoot like that? And don’t forget the sixers have two first round picks this year. Also, love how you discount how impressive Covington has been this year, as well as Jerami Grant. Noel has admittedly been average, though his d has been just fine. The 76ers will be just fine.

  2. What about Carmelo playing in all star game then been in sat the rest of the year. Thats worse then anything the sixers have done in the last 2 years.

  3. vs Indiana L
    @ Orlando L
    @ Miami L
    @ Milwaukee L
    vs Washington L
    @ Indiana L
    vs Toronto L
    @ Oklahoma City blowout L
    vs Utah L
    vs league leading Atlanta L
    vs Chicago L

    So relax Sixers they’re not about to start winning a bunch of games and they’ll move ahead of the Timberwolves and secure at least a top 3 pick.

  4. Jim Adair’s Favorite Types of Days, Ranked

    2. Wildwood Days
    3. Days of Thunder
    4. What Up Wednesdays
    5. Mike Schmidt Days

  5. Wow I actually agree with everything you wrote! I haven’t visited deadspin in about 5 months. The smugness from guys like burnenko and Tom ley is unbearable. The site used to be good , but now they are just concerned with their crusade to prove everyone who is white should feel guilty about it. They are all shitty writers who constantly contradict everything they are supposed to “stand for”.,. I’d get douche chills when I came upon the daily “the problem with …” Half ass moral authority post they would put up. I’m sure there is one about hinkie and/or sixers

    1. Yeah, I know that they make fun of the people who tell them to “stick to sports” but when they get into their moral and social stances, they are just so confused and ambiguous.

  6. Burnenko is a food critic who apparently also writes wildly uninformed articles about the NBA. Deadspin had a sweet spot of a few years ago when AJ was there. Really been pretty crappy since then.

    They recently changed the format on all the Gawker sites and it’s even more of a PITA to read.

  7. There is no point in arguing with these knuckleheads. People who don’t get the Sixers have zero arguments. My response is simple, would you rather be the Sixers or Brooklyn Nets right now. Sixers have cap space, no killer contracts, and high draft picks. Brooklyn has 2 unmovable contracts, no cap space, and no draft picks until 2018. I guess because Brooklyn likes doing stupid moves so they can make the playoffs in the East to be a sacrificial lamb to LBJ, they are the obvious choice.

    GM’s like Billy King, the guy in Minnesota, Knicks, Lakers, are the real frauds. At least our GM has a plan. We are just wandering aimlessly like Minnesota or Brooklyn.

  8. The anti-tank people annoy me because they won’t shut up about it. Atleast let the plan play out and then criticize it! They talk about how insulting it is to tank and how it will never work, yet they forget that the past 10 years we were mediocre every year and had a 0% chance of winning a title. That’s right, a 0% chance! Why weren’t they criticizing those years this harshly? Because we would win 40 games and lose in the first round? If they understood the NBA, they would realize that is actually worse then tanking!!! No one knows if this plan is going to work, but its the first time we have some plan since Larry Brown was here. Lets wait and see what happens, and don’t want to watch it, then you can jump on the bandwagon when we are good again. Now go away!

  9. Exactly, I really do not understand how people don’t get it. Disagree with it all you want, that’s fine by me. But what I frequently hear from tv heads ” what the hell are they doing”, are they planning on tanking forever” ” when are they supposed to start winning”. People can’t wait to call something a failure. Scott van pelt brought up how the hawks were doing well this year and were a perennial one and done team. Ok…. Al horford might be the most underrated player in the nba and he’s also been hurt at times, they drafted Teague and got rid of joe Johnson. With his contract off the books they signed millsap, korver, and Carroll who are great complimentary pieces. Difference is they already had a star in horford who nobody talked about because he plays in Atlanta, plus he was injured a lot , who did we have? jrue holiday? Evan turner? Hawes. Zero foundation to build around. The plan is simple. Draft high and acquire a core foundation of young talented players. As these players grow and begin to prosper, then bring in the complimentary pieces. It’s a five year plan. I think most people who are professionaly outraged at this actually do get it, they just choose not to show it

    1. Its because the media (and alot of the fans to) live in this ‘win now’ culture, where nobody looks long-term. The worst are how they analyze the Eagles as its one extreme or another. Before the season, Foles was the next Joe Montana because he had 27 TD and 2 Int, and now they can’t stop talking about Mariota. The same thing is going on with the Phillies as everyone was outraged when Gillick said we may not be competitive until 2017. What is wrong with that? We haven’t been competitive since 2011, but because the Phillies didn’t say they were rebuilding then, people were fine with it. And Hextall is in a catch 22 with this team as we all know he wants to rebuild and make alot of trades at the deadline, but the media and fans keeps telling him he is only 6 points of the playoffs so we can’t be sellers. The fans and the media who think this way is the reason we have only won a few championships among the 4 Pro Teams in the city. Everyone wants to win now, but sometimes you have to be patient and let the GM rebuild the right way.

  10. Yup, Hinkie is a fraud and moron. He’s been a GM for 1.5 seasons, but that’s more than enough time and a large enough sample size to unequivocally draw that conclusion.

  11. So after the events of today, that article seems even more spot on. Let’s go Sixers in 2024. Oh yeah none of this matters because everyone will have cash and no big name free agent will comr here. Ass clown apologists

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