Tony Romo pulled off an impressive last-minute victory against the Giants last week thanks to the Giants, a bad football team, shooting themselves in the leg and blowing off their own fingers with a series of bad play calls and bad execution down the stretch. Who’s bad? But why let details get in the way of a feel-good fellating?

First up, NFL megaphone Peter King (whose access, admittedly, makes for good reads), writes, glowingly, about Romo:

The answer to his newfound productive efficiency, can be found, first, in his smart phone.

Yes, Romo’s phone. In training camp this summer, I sat with him for an hour after practice one day. Romo started the conversation—well, after riffing on Bruce Springsteen, who was playing in the background of the interview; a couple of times Romo just stopped in the conversation and sang a lyric—by showing me still photos of the throwing motions of 10 or so quarterbacks. Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Blake Bortles, Ryan Tannehill, Derek Carr, Russell Wilson, Philip Rivers, Cam Newton, Joe Flacco … he studies them, analyzing the hand motion as the ball leaves the fingertips, which he feels is crucial to accuracy and a strong throw. Romo has become a technician of The Throw.

He thinks so many different things are important to quarterbacking proficiency, aside from three obvious ones: accuracy, quick but self-assured decision-making and a strong arm. It’s not just the cliché things, either, like chemistry with receivers, understanding the route progression on every throw or knowing the defensive players’ tendencies on a given route.

And then he slowly unbuttoned his real comfortable jeans, not unlike the way Favre used to, whilst humming along with Brilliant Disguise, which filled the air around us. I dropped my notebook.

Vomit. I have some other blogs in my most viewed view, because I always like to keep tabs on the competition. But if anyone ever called me a technician of The Type – and capitalized a generic action verb like an asshole – I’d punch them in the face. If Romo was a real man, he’d have pictures of Aaron Rodgers’ girlfriend, Olivia Munn, on his phone. And speaking of– why on Earth is Rodgers not in there?! I wrote that sentence about Munn just assuming he was. But nope. Romo has pictures of Derek Carr and Philip Rivers(?) on his phone and not Rodgers. The F? Rodgers is the best player in the game, and probably the only quarterback markedly better than Romo.

WAIT, WHAT?!!!!!


Babe Laufenberg – apparently a real thing (@BabeLaufenberg) – writing for the the Dallas Morning News:

3) What impressed you the most about the win?

Just the resiliency of hanging in there. Playing 60 minutes. And of course, the manner in which Tony Romo handled that final drive. If you just put the tape on with no sound or score for a football person, no one would have known by Romo’s demeanor whether that was the first or last drive of the game. Whether he was ahead or behind. Never panicked or forced the issue. I know this will be blasphemous to the national media, but I am not sure there is anyone outside of Aaron Rodgers I would rather have as my quarterback in that situation. And Jason Garrett and the players can all chant the Stepford Wives mantra that last year meant nothing when this season started. But without the backdrop of that 12-4 season, not convinced the result would have been the same.

OH. STOP. IT. Actually, don’t. I know how this ends… with Malcolm Jenkins, following a week on jugs, streaming down the sideline for a pick-six to end the Cowboys’ eight-point comeback attempt, while Tony Romo lays on the field in a crumbled heap, muttering the first verse of Atlantic City to himself: Well they blew up the Chicken Man in Philly last night…

…

And one other thing from King, who is the latest to make a thing out of the Eagles’ passing offense on Monday night:

DeMarco Murray’s workload.

I don’t think the Eagles had “eight carries, nine yards” in mind when they paid Murray $8 million a year in free agency. But that’s what Murray produced in game one. Chip Kelly’s got to remember his devotion to the run in his first two seasons as an NFL coach. Weirdest stat from the Monday night doubleheader: The Eagles ran the ball on 42 percent of the offensive snaps in 2014, and on 23.5 percent of the snaps in the Monday loss in Atlanta.

IT’S NOT A WEIRD STAT! The Eagles couldn’t run the ball to save their lives in the first quarter and trailed 20-3, of course they passed it a lot! I’d love – looooooooove – for defensive coordinators to overlook that three-headed monster. Love it. Put all your money on the Birds.