RADIO WARS is going regional. We are expanding our reach into new territory and up the eastern seaboard into Boston, which is a great city that is unfortunately full of Boston sports fans. It is infested with Patriots, Bruins, Red Sox, and Celtics supporters with terrible accents who sometimes throw water bottles at former players.

The background here is that this guy Fred Toucher does a morning show up there along with Rich Shertenlieb, and on Tuesday, Barrett Sports Media revealed that Toucher and Rich placed first in an industry poll of the best major market sports radio morning programs in America. In our writeup of the list, we noted that Toucher is the jabroni who hung up on the Carolina Hurricanes reporter because he didn’t think guys with southern accents knew anything about hockey. It was ridiculous. We must bow to the almighty Masshole hockey opinion and everybody living south of the Mason-Dixon line is disqualified.

Anyway, Toucher got ahold of our story decided to read a few paragraphs on his show:


First things first, let’s clear up a misconception, because Toucher thinks I’m “some guy in Philadelphia who hates all the radio there,” and that’s not true. The only radio shows I actually hate are Cataldi’s show and whichever time slot is currently featuring Howard Eskin.

Here’s what my daily listening pattern usually entails:

  1. flip between John Kincade and Rich Zeoli in the morning
  2. typically go back and forth between The Hammer and the Cuz during middays
  3. start the dial on Marks and Reese in the afternoons
  4. inevitably switch off WIP in annoyance whenever Chuck from Mt. Airy does his vacuous daily phone call
  5. turn on Mikey Miss, who is talking about Italian soup or whatever other topic he is currently more interested in than sports (great interview with Embiid though)
  6. usually end up with Sean on The Gambler
  7. Joe Giglio and Devon Givens in the evenings: usually 50/50 split

That’s the weekday routine. I listen to Glen and Ray every weekend and then flip flop between Brodes and Jamie and Salciunas and Rob Ellis and all of the other guys rotating in. It’s honestly less about disliking the hosts and more about hating how Philadelphia programs radio around moron callers and non-stop Eagles talk.

Second, it’s great to hear Toucher talk about “Butch from whatever town” and “insert first name here from the Dirty 30.” Perhaps we can get them to call his show.

Third, hanging up on the Hurricanes reporter was an embarrassment. Disrespectful! Toucher is a Detroit native working in Boston who is now judging other people’s accents, and has determined that 30-year newspaper veteran Chip Alexander from The News and Observer is not qualified to talk hockey, but probably thinks that bozo hoagie mouths from Quincy know their stuff.

Toucher isn’t the worst dude in Boston radio, not by a mile, because that distinction is split evenly between Felger and Mazz, but you can feel the disgusting New England entitlement seeping out of myriad sports orifices up there. What happened was that those people won so many championships in such a short amount of time that they began to think they were God’s gift to sports and could do no wrong. It’s a shame, because Boston has such a rich history and is a cool town, but the sports fans are the absolute worst. It makes me wanna projectile vomit off the Bunker Hill Monument.

But anyway, let’s welcome in Fred Toucher as a new Crossing Broad reader. We continue to grow as Philadelphia’s sports leader.

 

edit – I love how all these guys pretend to stumble over Cataldi’s name, as if they’ve never heard of him before. They know who he is. Everybody in sports radio knows who he is.