Ad Disclosure
Known-Worm Evgeni Malkin Goes Full-Worm By Flipping the Puck into the Flyers Bench
By Matt Schultz
Published:
Flyers fans have plenty to be upset about after Philly’s 3-2 loss to the Penguins in Game 5, and right at the top of the list is getting punked by elderly worm Evgeni Malkin. During a stoppage in play on Monday night, the slug-man himself flipped a puck into the Flyers’ bench:
There can be no doubt: This is textbook worm behavior. Backhanding a puck into the opposing team’s bench – where a bunch of Flyers coaches are standing, looking down at whiteboards, aren’t wearing helmets, and are in their 50s and 60s and could take some pretty rough damage if they got hit in the head – is, quite simply, the action of a type of worm-guy. There is clearly no honor among worms. They do as their small worm hearts desire.
Unsurprisingly, wormish Penguins fans on X disagree, and are in full support of their star worm:
It really is a damn shame that the Flyers couldn’t put these Pens away in Game 5. A quick scroll through Penguins internet shows that these worms have been given life, and that’s the last thing you want worms to have. Pittsburgh fans are back to posting their lame-ass memes, getting all overexcited and acting corny online. Wish this wasn’t the case! Would be a real treat to not have to deal with Pens fans anymore!
But… I will say this: A small part of me does kind of enjoy the juice. When the Flyers were up in the series 3-0, or even 3-1, the depressing defeatedness of the Penguins fanbase was getting a little boring. I almost felt bad for them. How can you read these posts and not? So now, at least, us Flyers fans can get our blood flowing a little bit. It’s fun to get furious at another fanbase, and it’s even more fun when your team goes on to win the series – which the Flyers will do.
Flyers in 6! I’m not worried! The journey of the worms ends on Wednesday night.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)