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Knicks Fans Almost Killed J.R. Smith
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Knicks took a 1-0 lead in their second-round series against the Sixers on Monday night. It wasn’t a huge surprise. The Knicks had enjoyed a few days off after wrapping up their series against a mediocre Atlanta team, and the Sixers were traveling up to New York only two days removed from an emotional Game 7 win over the Celtics after coming back from a 3-1 hole. The Knicks were supposed to win Game 1, and they did. But it looks like no one told Knicks fans. They’re acting all weird –
On one hand, I feel for Knicks fans. This is all very new to them. As I mentioned yesterday, Knicks fans are not used to having meaningful basketball in their lives. Until like three years ago, the Knicks were viewed by the basketball world as basically the Washington Wizards. They never came up in conversation. They did not matter. No one cared. And now here they are, plopped into contender conversations – that’s gotta be crazy whiplash. I get that it’s gonna take a minute for them to get used to this. I am an understanding person. I want to give them some leeway: “Take your time, Knicks fans. Get your nervous systems adjusted to this new set of circumstances. Until you’re all settled on your Knicks bandwagon, I will not judge your behavior.”
But then they go and do stuff like this, and it’s tough to not judge. These guys, simply put, are acting strange. And don’t get me wrong, I like being excited. It’s a nice feeling. But when your excitement becomes so overwhelming that your instinct is to maul J.R. Smith until you can feel his body being mashed beneath your feet like grapes at a winery, that’s where I can no longer relate. What was the game plan? This was genuinely dangerous! J.R. Smith looks scared! Why do so many people have their phones out? Help the man! Give him some space! Also, how many of J.R. Smith’s buddies got sucked into this human quicksand – it looks like maybe 5? 10? 30? Did they make it out of this alive?
All because, what, Josh Hart untied Jimmy Fallon’s shoes? This is what has Knicks fans so overstimulated that they nearly committed involuntary manslaughter? You guys are into this? –
Knicks fans are weird folks. Here’s hoping their weirdness doesn’t veer this close to life threatening again.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)