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Someone’s Gotta Tell Kansas There’s Only One “Cathedral of College Basketball,” and it’s The Palestra
By Matt Schultz
Published:
As the Algerian World Cup team embraces its new life as honorary Kansans, Riyad Mahrez rolled through KU to get some shots up. As nice as this odd-couple friendship between the Algerians and Kansas locals is, this video is one I can’t get behind. Whoever is running the Jayhawks’ X account called Allen Fieldhouse “the cathedral of college basketball,” and that made me furious:
Don’t you have enough, Kansas? Nationally recognized brand. Major conference. Tons of NIL money. National TV games. Final Four runs. Merch sales. NBA alumni. Perennial dibs on top recruits. All that’s not enough? You have to try to steal the label of “the cathedral of college basketball” from the Palestra? The hell? `
There’s only one cathedral of college basketball and it’s on S. 33rd Street in Philadelphia. No one cares about your huge, renovated, corporate-ass Phog. You sold out. You’re Big Business now. You’re Coca-Cola, and the Palestra is still the timeless, authentic, real-hooper gym that Kansas hasn’t had since the 70s. The Palestra is the heart of Philadelphia’s basketball culture, and has been since 1927. It’s a living basketball museum. You can feel it when you walk through its doors.
The stands are wood benches that are a thousand years old. It smells like a gym. There was a controversy when they finally put in a digital LED video board in 2011 – before that, they were using fixed-digit scoreboards where the letters for team names had to be manually changed. Kansas is not that. Allen Fieldhouse looks like the new wing of an airport. Premium box seating for millionaire donors and corporate sponsors-ass arena. Flatscreen TVs over the urinals-ass arena. Smelling like an H&M-ass arena.
You can’t have it both ways, Kansas. Back the hell off. Me and this guy who replied to your video twice will not stand for this:
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com