As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker’s Philadelphia, where you can get $1 hot dogs during all Eagles and Flyers games. And really cheap drinks. Always.
Phillies: I’m not over it. And to all those meta, overanalyzing bloggers and writers who think differently: get in touch with your readers.
There are so many small – yet loud – sects of Phillies fans on the internet who take everything just one step too seriously. Some folks rely too heavily on stats, others are too forgiving of players, and some just don’t have a clue. The Phillies are much bigger and reach many more people than just the I finally had a thrill in my life, 24-7 Twitter users, who instinctively flinch any time anyone says anything bad about their team. Phillies fans range from 10-year-olds who loves sports to 65-year-olds who grew up listening to Bill Campbell. The greatest era in Phillies history may have just come to an end. Sure, they’ll be good next year (and perhaps for the foreseeable future), but the core of the team is aging, some of our most beloved players will depart in the next few months (J-Roll™, Madson, Ibanez, Lidge), and the team’s best regular season ever (read: ever) was flushed down the drain in a five-game series against guys named Freese and Motte and Schujohnwanamaker and Garcia, after the Phillies held a series lead. Twice.
The worst part about the loss is that we got so caught up in planning a parade that we forgot to acknowledge the impending departures mentioned above. We thought the remaining players still had a few productive seasons left, and while that very well may still be the case, there are serious questions about the lineup’s productivity and Ryan Howard’s blown-to-shreds Achilles, both of which are casting a dark shadow on the next few seasons.
So, over-thinking, too-easily-forgiving, I’m so much more refined than the average fan internet soothsayers– stop whining about our sadness. Complaining about our pain has replaced Shane Victorino as the most annoying local internet trend… and it’s only taken like three days.
Victorino: You know my thoughts, but at least now FOX has tasked him to Tweet about how great the postseason is. So we can just blame Joe Buck, or something.
Hip Hop: The rabbit is number three on my Things That Must Go in local sports list, just behind CSN’s zen third base camera that was introduced this year for Phillies broadcasts*… and Chris Wheeler.
*If you don’t know what camera I’m talking about, keep an eye out for it next year– it has an obviously different refresh rate, more saturated colors, and a thin black border on the corners.
I think we’re making some progress on Hip Hop’s death, but I don’t have anything concrete.
Crossing Broads: I really just chose this topic because I wanted to talk about the new Ice Girl uniforms, which fall somewhere between underwear and I wore this on Halloween so you’d fuck me. I’m leaning towards the latter… and that’s a good thing. And the girls perform a much needed function, because the NHL never got by for 70 years without scantily clad coeds shaking their tail-feathers in goaltenders faces during TV timeouts. Nope, never. Ice Girls all the way.
Crossing Bros: Cooter has the nickname, the now you see them now you don’t teeth, and he’s only 18. Harry Z has porn charges against him and was a hockey player at an Ivy League college (quite possibly the most underrated jersey-chasing quotient). But I gotta go Cooter. I mean, his nickname is Cooter!
Goal horn or Peco: I hate both. But I want to talk about something else that was mentioned in the Six Hole way back in February. Then, we asked what (who) would last longer: Raul Ibanez’s beard or Moammar Gadhafi. Well, I picked Moammar, and I was right. However, both had an up and down run and neither will be seen again.
This week’s Drinker’s Challenge: Guess correctly the number of saves made by Flyers goalies tomorrow night against the Blues. We have 10 pairs of tickets to give away for a special screening of Friday Night Lights on Tuesday night (well that doesn’t seem to make sense now, does it?). The movie’s director, Peter Berg; author, Buzz Bissinger; and Glen Macnow will be on hand for a discussion.
Also, the Philadelphia Film Society is sponsoring a screening of a new documentary, UNDEFEATED, tonight at The Ritz at 5 PM. It’s the story of Memphis teenagers and their volunteer coach who struggles to keep their lives on track. Be sure to check it out.
If we have more than 10 winners, we’ll choose at random. Enter after the jump.