Your Monday Morning Roundup: Disasters, Lies and Idiots Edition

Kyle Scott —  November 19, 2012 — 29 Comments

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 9.17.36 AMJason Babin is famous… for being terrible at his job, pic via (@bjeter25)

Since Andy Reid’s firing is an inevitability, I’ve decided to pre-write the lede, this way I’m prepared if it happens during the season. It’s sort of like a Mad Lib, only if Mad Libs were head-shaking blog posts about the awful state of your local NFL team. Here’s what I got:

It’s over. The Eagles have fired Andy Reid, the team announced today. The final straw was the Eagles’ most recent loss, a ___-___ ass-kicking by the _____. ____ will take over as interim head coach, though the team will presumably look at other candidates for next season.

In a statement released by the team, Jeffrey Lurie said: _______________. 

This was Reid’s 14th year with the Eagles. He finishes his time here with a ___-___ record, five NFC Championship appearances and one Super Bowl appearance. He only won only one of those six games.

Time's ours.

That should do, at least initially.

Let’s hit it.

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

- Our friends at Drinker’s West offer a $10 all-you-can-eat tailgate menu every Sunday. Combined with $8 pitchers, you can literally eat, drink and include a nice tip for your ‘tender for $25.

Also, next month is Christmas movie quizzo. December 12. Drinker’s Tavern in Old City (2nd and Market). 8:30 p.m. Home Alone, Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, and Elf.

Congrats to this month’s winners, Our Team Name is Judge:

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 9.58.32 AM

- Meet Chase Utley. He will be signing autographs at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall on Saturday, December 8 from 1 – 3:30. 

Donovan McNabb doesn’t seem so bad anymore, does he? Get his autograph at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall on Saturday, January 5 from 1 – 2:30. Makes a great Christmas gift for the deprived Eagles fan in your life.

Get tickets for both here.

- The G shirt. Grab one before they sells out… or before G gets injured again in Germany and has to return to the states as a broken mess:

GirouxSlideFinal
Shop here.

 

The roundup 

- Claude Giroux injured his neck playing for the Berlin Ice Bears over the weekend, according to a hockeyweb.de, via Broad Street Hockey:

Playing in the German mayor league (DEL) is not harmless at all not even for NHL Lockoutplayers. In the yesterdays game between Eisbären Berlin (Giroux and Briere) and Krefeld Pinguine (Christian Ehrhoff) Claude Giroux got hurt and was brought to he hospital. It happened in the 2nd period of the game. His cervical spine was overstretched after he got hit by another player.

Observers are sure his head was hit but there where no penalties given. The Eisbären Berlin applied for an investigation procedure and sent the video of the scene. The German League will check the situation. After the medical examination Giroux was able to leave the hospital but he will not play in Cologne (against Kölner Haie – with Coach Uwe Krupp)  tomorrow.

 

The Flyers don’t believe the injury is serious. Giroux told the Daily News’ Frank Seravalli that it’s nothing serious

- On Saturday, Seravalli, writing for SportsWeek, quoted sources that said Ed Snider was extremely unhappy with Gary Bettman’s handling of negotiations. Snider strongly disagreed with the report and sent a statement to the Daily News calling the report “erroneous.” He told others it was a “fabrication.” 

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 9.58.03 AMAndrew Bynum's sweet gloves, pic via (@MattMcLaughlin9)

- Speaking of (accused) shoddy reporting… the Wilmington News Journal has an exclusive story today in which a doctor, who has no involvement with Andrew Bynum or his injury, said that the Sixers center could require surgery. It’s a reasonable theory, but the story’s headline, “Evidence shows Bynum likely out for season,” is a gross exaggeration. Relevant story, but completely misleading.  

A source told CBS Philly’s Spike Eskin that the Sixers are unhappy with Bnyum. Eskin pointed out that it was odd how the Sixers sent Bynum out this weekend to give updates on his knee. I agree.

TWITTER IDIOTS

- Marcus Vick, who may be in jail right now (no, really), who was supposedly going to censor himself after requesting a trade for his brother, fired this bad boy out into the ether this morning. About Reid? Probably. 

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 9.33.29 AM

- 97.5’s Harry Mayes chided Evan Turner on Saturday, telling him to work on his J instead of watching the Ohio State basketball game. Turner’s response?

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 9.40.37 AM

- Jason Babin’s appearance on the cover of the Washington Post may have helped him to a net gain in his Twitter following: 

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 8.47.43 AM

What a tone deaf, lunkhead. 

That's a sentiment with which most of you agree. Check out the responses to Babin:

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 8.48.03 AM

- LeSean McCoy has a concussion because Andy Reid is stupid and left him in during garbage time. Reid’s reasoning? “Because we were trying to catch up and win the game.”

The Eagles were losing 31-6 at the time, with under two minutes to play in the game.

- Finally, this Joe and Casey Conklin parody of Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, We Are Never Ever Gonna Win With Andy, is perfect.

Screen Shot 2012-11-19 at 9.50.31 AM

Notice that Eagles logos are absent in the video and jerseys are turned inside out? The original video, which briefly showed up on YouTube two weeks ago, was shot outside Lincoln Financial Field with Casey in an Eagles jersey. The video was quickly removed and replaced with this sans-licensed-product version. You can probably deduce why. Must-watch video after the jump. Casey actually has an amazing voice.


Kyle Scott

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29 responses to Your Monday Morning Roundup: Disasters, Lies and Idiots Edition

  1. lol at Babin’s twitter profile pic

  2. Nick Foles Let Down White Philadelphia November 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

    I think you should poll to see which eagle player (screw reid) we should hang in effigy.
    Nnamdi, Babin, or Dunlop

  3. Concerned citizen November 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Hi, can you stop sending all these mouth-breathing Philly sports fans to Drinkers please? They are ruining my pre-hockey game cheap meal and drinks. I preferred the place when it was empty like CBP or soon-to-be Linc.

  4. You can probably fill in the Win total now as I don’t see them winning again on Andy’s watch. Question is how many more losses.

  5. I love how hipsters and white trash go to a bar and drink PBR cans. I drank better beer than that in college. Stay home you cheap fucks. You and your $2 beers are taking a stool/seat away from non-cheap fucks. And you can tell that Kyle has no shame when he continutes to push that god awful G shirt. I wouldn’t even use that shirt for a cum rag.

  6. That G shirt is awful

  7. where da white women at you pussy ass white boys?

  8. eagles didn’t get beat like that when they had a black QB

  9. PatBurrell’s Pants November 19, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!

  10. Everyone in Conklin Video voted for Romney.

  11. Some Russian whore November 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

    So weak that Kyle doesn’t call out his favorite weather man for shiting his pants. Way to not pull punches you fraud.

  12. I can’t wait to see what the fraud national broadcasters have to say about this team now. We have 3 weeks coming up of prime time games. Time to showcase this shit team to the whole country!

  13. Todd, well if they aren’t going to win anymore this year and have 6 games left, I’m guessing at least 8 more losses
    Haha sorry, not really a jerk, I promise. We were friends in grade school, remember?

  14. RangersYankeesKnicksNYGiantsFan November 19, 2012 at 11:59 am

    LOL hows that Nick Foles working out for you Eagle fans.

  15. Eagles can cut Babin at the end of the season with minimal financial obligation.
    What a bitch cake.

  16. It’s getting played out to rip on Andy at this point. Yeah, his days here are numbered, that’s obvious. Let’s talk about how this team failed him and us. No balls.

  17. Babin is definitely the big guy in the gym who gets his ass kicked by a skinny 17 year old in the parking lot and threatens to sue because he messed up his pretty face. Straight up fanook.

  18. Hey Tony whose fault is it when a team quits you stupid wop

  19. Thank you, thank you, thank you Kyle (he said sarcastically) for refraining from posting another ridiculous rant from EDP in today’s round-up. We’ve suffered enough with this Eagles team without having to hear it from that POS.

  20. Hopefully EDP died of a coronary

  21. Does anyone actually think Lurie will fire Reid mid-season? I expect an end of season firing or “resignation” from Reid, followed by a promotion to President of the Eagles.

  22. A __-___-___ record.

  23. Fat Hipster and a derigible, nice.

  24. It’s dirigible with 3 i’s stupid.

  25. Am I the only one who has noticed Andrew Bynums O.J. gloves?

  26. I’m glad that Kyle finally caught on that EDP fucking sucks. Good riddance you darkness lardness.

  27. hey Kyle can we start collecting donation to get that chick in the pic to replace dunlap…

  28. ET can’t take criticism. i nagged him on instagram after the sixers got embarrassed by the knicks two weeks ago and he tried bashing me and then blocked me on instagram and twitter.
    it’s fine if you’re not above addressing the critics…just thought he’d have a little more character than to handle it like a high schooler.
    see my twitter (@taaste_it) and instagram (@call_me_ted) for proof…
    needless to say, i’m getting a jrue holiday jersey now.

  29. BOLARIS YOU SO CRAZY SHITTING YOURSELF AND STUFF November 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/phillygossip/John-Bolaris-upset-over-testimony-report-that-he-defecated-himself.html
    funny quotes from above article:
    “”I am trying to have some dignity,” said Bolaris.”
    followed shortly by
    “He credits fiancee Erica Smitheman, to whom he proposed live on the Howard Stern Show on Sirius…”

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