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Apropos of nothing

I want to welcome back our readers in the United States and around the world.

Took the weekend off after a 12-hour live blog sesh on Friday. Fingers still numb. But I don’t smell anymore, so that’s good. Perhaps I’m just a jerk, but I didn’t cry once watching all of that coverage last week. Not once. Nope, I didn’t cry until Saturday, when survivors and first responders were honored before the game at Fenway. Something about baseball and seeing people rise from the ashes that does it. I was a melting mess… that is, until David Ortriz dropped a lovely, though seemingly misplaced, F-bomb, and I sprung from the couch to put it on Vine. Suddenly, I was taking pictures of my TV again and sports are back.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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Dollar dogs! At Drinker’s. $1 hot dogs during all Phillies games. $1 tacos all day, every day. And $2 PBRs and $3 SoCo and Limes all day, every day.

The survey says. Two tapings of the new Philly sports game show, Philly Pheud, are taping at 7 p.m. tonight at Play 2 in South Philly.

Pump me up! Macho Row, on a t-shirt. See Philly Phaithful’s line of t-shirts honoring Dutch, Mitch, Krukker and others. Lady? Check out the all-new selection on Phils-related gear at Broad Street Broad and use code cb10 to take 10% off all stylish and trendy – and sexy – women’s wear.

Take it off! 50%, that is. Sports Vault is unloading their Flyers inventory (tear). Take 50% off all Flyers merchandise. Very simply. Shop here.

Throw it back! Monkey’s Uncle in Doylestown has a great selection of retro Phillies gear. You can shop online and use code BROAD to take $10 off orders of $50 or more

Cheap. Phillies-Pirates tickets for this week start at just $9.

 

The roundup:

Today in “Ryan Lochte, Douchebag”: I forgot that What Would Ryan Lochte Do? premiered last night, and perhaps that’s a good thing. But Michelle Beadle caught it and:

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Someone took time to recap the show and it is very good. The recap, that is:

Cue the Ryan Lochte footprints plodding across the scene, and we’re led to a grassy knoll where Ryan and his entourage—no, I’m sorry, his “Lochtourage”**—play a game of flag football. And by flag football, I mean roughhousing with red Solo cups. This is where we meet Devon Lochte, Ryan’s 22 year old brother, who reassures us that Ryan doesn’t really understand flag football. I find Devon fascinating. They flash a little bio of him when he’s wearing a tuxedo t-shirt, and we learn he lives with Ryan, and that his biggest fear is skinny jeans.

Our friends from Phans of Philly took a roadie to Carolina to see not a playoff team play a meaningless late-season game. And still, this turnout. Jeff Daniels cheeeeeeeeeese:

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The Phillies are not good:

There is no instant elixir for a 8-11 baseball team. It starts with nights like Sunday. Manuel’s team entered with the second-worst run differential in the National League. (Only the moribund Marlins are worse.) The manager complained of his team’s inability to execute all aspects of the game on the same night.

But it was pretty funny when Erik Kratz nearly ripped Juan Samuel’s hand off after his three-run Godshall’s to left.

The Flyers will wear Boston Strong patches against the Bruins tomorrow night:

There likely will be few dry eyes in the Wells Fargo Center on Tuesday night when the Bruins visit for the first time since last week’s horrific Marathon bombings. In addition to Lauren Hart’s stirring “God Bless America” performance pregame, the Flyers will wear “Boston Strong” patches on their jerseys and then auction the game-worn uniforms off to benefit OneFund Boston. The other half of the “50/50” raffle on Tuesday will also go to OneFundBoston.org.

Of course, the Flyers have been making Boston (Bruins) strong for the past two years.

Carlos Ruiz is getting a second X-ray on his left wrist after being hit by a pitch. The first one was negative.

Philly is guaranteed of at least a 492-day playoff drought, which will be the longest in two decades.

This video of a news anchor, who was on his first day on the job(!), whose first words on live TV were “fucking shit,” is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while. Watch how thrown off he is after realizing he fucked up.

The FCC chairman was OK with Big Papi’s F-bomb:

MURICA!