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It’s customary for returning big-name athletes to speak with local media before coming back to town. Players generally use it as an opportunity to simultaneously thank former fans and, like scorn lovers, boast about how good they’re doing with their new team and how much sex they’re now having.

Local media uses it to fill space.

That’s the norm. But not for Asante Samuel, who refused to speak with the Philly media today:



I could be fake outraged… but I’ll just laugh at the fact that local scriptuals will have to dig up another useless story for tomorrow’s piece of tree that will be driven to your home overnight as part of an archaic and costly process that can’t be sustained much longer.

If you’d like some insight from Asante, though, you can check out some highlights from his Twitter:

[Asante Samuel, Still kind of a Cock]
[I Think Asante Samuel Just Took a Shot at Andy Reid]
[I Think Brandon Graham Just Called Asante Samuel a Cancer]
[Asante Samuel "Can't Wait to Touch All That Thickness"]