Know Your Loon: Andrew Bynum Hurt His F#$%ing Knee Bowling, According to a Report

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Forgive me. I'm writing this with a hangover, so I may be more irritable than usual. Also, typos.

Last night, sources told ESPN that Andrew Bynum’s recent “setback” in his recovery – especially on his left knee, not right, which is the one had been keeping him out – stemmed from a bowling incident: []

The Philadelphia 76ers fear All-Star center Andrew Bynum might have done additional damage to his knees while bowling, according to sources close to the situation.

Multiple sources told ESPN on Saturday that Bynum suffered an unspecified injury this month while bowling. On Friday, Bynum revealed that — on top of the issues with his right knee that could keep him sidelined until January — he also had suffered a "setback" with his left knee.

"I had a little bit of a setback, and we're just working through some issues with the right knee," Bynum said before the Sixers beat the Utah Jazz on Friday night. "I kind of have a mirror thing going on with my left knee. I don't know what's going on, but the doctors are saying pretty much that it's a weakened cartilage state."


Bowling is not prohibited by Bynum's contract, according to ESPN.

So, not only was “setback” a bunch of bullshit (because it’s pretty damn hard to suffer a setback in a new injury), but we learned that Bynum hurt his knee(s) away from the court, not because of some obscure “weakened cartilage” that he hurt doing "routine things," which is what he told reporters on Friday night.

Here’s the unofficial timeline on Bynum as a Sixer:

September: Undergoes previously scheduled knee procedure in Germany.

Late September: Sixers visit Citizens Bank Park. Bynum, who was scheduled to throw out first pitch, can’t make it into town. No reason is given.

Early October: Sixers say that Bynum will be out roughly three weeks, hinting that Bynum’s absence was an expected outcome of the procedure done in Germany. Bynum says it’s unrelated. The official reason is a bone bruise.

mid-October: It’s reported that Bynum will undergo another minor knee procedure. The Sixers say it was previously scheduled, but no one outside the organization had heard about it. 

Late October (three weeks): Sixers say Bynum will remain out until he’s pain free.

mid-November: After several articles by local and national media, this site, and a Howard Eskin report, all questioning whether Bynum is hurt more severely than the Sixers are saying, the team puts out a press release stating that Bynum likely won’t play until the New Year and that previous updates were complete bullshit– they knew all along Bynum would be out for a while. That night, Bynum confirms that earlier updates were complete bullshit.

Friday: Bynum tells reporters that he suffered a setback in his previously undamaged (relative) left knee.

Saturday night: ESPN reports Bynum’s setback is actually a new injury, which occurred while bowling.

If that doesn’t sound like the absolute worst possible start for Bynum with the Sixers, I don’t know what does. Some of you Sixers zealots absolutely crushed me for my cautious optimism (pessimism?) on Bynum. Just look at the comments of these posts from before the season. This was the issue all along– Bynum is a nut and, at age 25, has a long history of knee problems. And now, less than two months since practice began, the only contribution he has made to the Sixers is his goofy hair, present on the sidelines.

How the fuck does someone get a bone bruise and not know how they did it?

I included him missing the Phillies game in that timeline because – and this is purely conjecture – I’ve thought all along that he did something to his knee around that time. It seems more than coincidental that he bailed on a team appearance at the Phillies game, and then, a week later, showed up to training camp injured. Until now, that would have been an unfair accusation. But since his "setback" happened while bowling, not while doing anything remotely related to basketball, and since he kind of lied about it, it’s fair to question how he really hurt his knee in the first place. 

What’s worse: All along, the Sixers have downplayed the injury, no doubt in an attempt to sell more tickets.* And they can’t even get on the same page with Bynum, who three different times has given a different update than what came from the team: first he said his sitting out practice wasn’t a result of his procedure (the Sixers hinted that it was), then he said the plan all along was to be out 8-12 weeks (the Sixers stopped way short of divulging that detail), and now he revealed “weakened cartilage” (something the Sixers never mentioned).

At the end of the day, the Bynum trade was still a good one, because the Sixers were able to move Andre Iguodala and, at worst, give themselves substantially more flexibility next summer (if they don’t re-sign Bynum). But this is exactly why many, myself included, were not doing jumping jacks about getting Bynum. He came with wayyyy too many question marks to assume that he would turn the Sixers into contenders.

*See, when the Phillies, Eagles or Flyers do this, they can’t be accused of the same thing because they all virtually sell out every night. With the Sixers, however, that’s not the case, and they likely got a bunch of people to buy tickets expecting to see Bynum.


44 Responses

  1. God do I hate “Time-Out” Ball aka the NBA…Bloody Mary’s while bumpin Maiden getting ready 4 a day of gambling/drinking/watching Redzone has Me hype though…

  2. I read about this in the Inky this morning and grimaced because of how incredibly stupid that was on so many levels. A man with bad knees shouldn’t be bowling in the first place, that’s foolish in itself. And, at the same time, the Sixers should’ve put a clause in Bynum’s contract forbidding him from activities that threatened to put stress on his legs, like bowling. Meanwhile, it’s starting to look like Bynum might not play at all.

  3. How bout foles now u dumb crackas??? and keep letting the brothas fuck your women, fuckin chumps

  4. Fuck yall, 2ints, he slop. To bad there will never b a good white qb in this city. I love white pussy, probably fucked all ur wives n gfs

  5. Ron, I have to agree. I could use a good laugh & this Dennis guy is a dope. I normally roll my eyes at posts like the fake Cataldi guy, but his Bradley cooper post had me laughing out loud. Bring on another vile post!

  6. Hey Dennis…The only white woman wholl come even remotely close to letting you slide that slop you call a penis between her legs is RHEA HUGHES. Why don’t you cut off that small, pus ridden, flabby blood sausage you call a penis and wedge it in your puke green asshole. Then you can shit it into your grandmoms mouth and she can use her much larger, bulbous, veiny penis to fuck you in the hole where your 1 inch boner used to be. I hope by then you puked in her eyes. After that, you can get RHEA HUGHES to puncture your scrotum with those rusty nails she calls nipples. You have a cunt where your mouth should be and all that comes out of it is period blood and brown sludge you fuckin dumb pile of trash. I hope someone holds you down and sprays diarrhea all over your face and into your cuntmouth you faggot. You’re a fucking piece of dog shit you fucking cunt. Fuck yourself with a machete. I voted for romney.

  7. By the way Dennis, I fingered your mom in the anus last night and shit in her cunt. Then demanded that she make me a sandwich. When she gave it to me, I shit on it then threw it in her face and demanded a new one. When I ate the second one it was so bad that I puked it up in her face and drank my own cum. Go fuck yourself you gay fag.

  8. Thank you mr cataldi very eloquently stated and exactly what I was looking for, btw who wants some herpes

  9. Fuck u white devils…white QB equals blowout. I love cumming in white pussy so they have to take a black baby home to daddy, sad little dick fagats

  10. Tom Brady, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, Rapelisburger….yeah, them and their 10 superbowls are blowouts. Just like your mothers hairy, mangy, sweaty, pulsating infected cunt. She gave me a blowjob and I spunked right in her throat then I shit on her head and masturbated with her tears.

  11. Angelo, u crazy yo, that’s some serial killer shit right. I fucked ur dego mom in her fat Italian pussy then made ur mafia dad suck my balls while I came inside ur sisters asshole then made ur brother stick a plunger up my ass and suck the corn shit off the stick…fact is all the white women wants our black dicks and cum, that’s how we take out the white race

  12. I hope someone jams a hacksaw inside your urethra and rips your penis clean in two. Then I hope you take the skin and staple it to your asshole. I was jamming a sock full of pushpins into RHEA HUGHES slimy infected cunt last night and when she puked green sludge it spelled your name. Then she rubbed her bulbous 18 inch penis in it and fucked your grand pop in the rectum with it you fagat. Only French cumrags say fagat you god damn ugly pile of mule shit.

  13. I’m going to go out on a limb here & say Dennis is a white dude.
    I find it funny trolling though

  14. Hey Kyle, is this the comment section you envisioned when you started

  15. Damaged goods ftw. chances are bynum won’t play till next season. that’s barring he doesn’t get traded again this off-season.

  16. The sixers dance girls just brought Mark Zumoff a cake for his birthday and he asked them if they would eat his crum. Actual quote- “Can you help me eat this cake and maybe some other things too?”

  17. Fuck bynum and the sixers. What a fucking joke. I give credit for moveing igodala out and takeing a shot at bynum, but wtf. What a mess

  18. I hope nick foles drinks his own diarrhea mixed with his toe nail clippings tonight. He’s such a fag.

  19. Isn’t he on any restrictions. Bowling requires bending the knees. If he does it bowling he would be crippled playing hoops. Damaged goods! Didn’t the Sixers give him a physical before they got him????

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