OH MY GOD WHEN DOES REBECCA LOWE ARRIVE?
I’m kidding. This is terrible.
A Wall Street Journal report today quotes a Russian official who says that, yep!, Boris is watching you shower:
Dmitry Kozak, the deputy prime minister responsible for the Olympic preparations, reflected the view held among many Russian officials that some Western visitors are deliberately trying to sabotage Sochi’s big debut out of bias against Russia. “We have surveillance video from the hotels that shows people turn on the shower, direct the nozzle at the wall and then leave the room for the whole day,” he said. An aide then pulled a reporter away before Mr. Kozak could be questioned further on surveillance in hotel rooms. “We’re doing a tour of the media center,” the aide said.
SHHHHHHHHHHH YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM ABOUT THE PEEP CAM. HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPECT TO GET THE SPLENDID VIEW?!
A spokesperson later tried to right that wrong:
A spokesman for Mr. Kozak later on Thursday said there is absolutely no surveillance in hotel rooms or bathrooms occupied by guests. He said there was surveillance on premises during construction and cleaning of Sochi’s venues and hotels and that is likely what Mr. Kozak was referencing. A senior official at a company that built a number of the hotels also said there is no such surveillance in rooms occupied by guests.
The best part of this is how Dmitry thinks this is a totally acceptable response to counter reports of bathroom hilarity. Make trust, Olympic toilet work fine. We install seven camera in bowl and monitor progress. “From sphincter to sewer,” that’s motto! Vladimir run tight
The legitimate reason for the running water is likely that people are trying to drain brown face water and find something that resembles a clear liquid, or at least a milky substance.
A Russian worker also griped that no one is mentioning the quality of the competition facilities:
Vladimir Yakunin, president of the national rail operator Russian Railways, which built much of the infrastructure for the Games, including subcontracting on some accommodations that weren’t completed on time, attacked Western coverage as biased in a blog Thursday.
“I’m very offended that the closer we get to the opening of the Olympics, the more hysteria around Russia becomes inflamed in the Western media,” he wrote. “There’s not a word about the quality of the Olympic facilities, about the fact that the level of readiness of the Olympic infrastructure has no analogues in the world.”
Right. Shaun White had to withdraw from the slopestyle event because he thought he might die. The women’s downhill was halted because a jump was too big. And there’s a barking dog on the cross country course:
Ignore death turn and canid beast. We promise everything else fine with sport venues! Now, rub soap on breast for Boris. Yesssss. Boris like.