Phillies

The Marlins’ Ridiculous Home Run Fountain is Alive

By Kyle Scott

Published: Mar 26th, 2012 · 12:12 PM EDT

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It’s alive! The Marlins' hideous Kristin Davis vagina (NSFW!!!)-like structure is alive!

We've covered in great detail the Los Marlinos' frightening home run fountain, which resides just beyond the centerfield fence at the team’s new Miami ballpark. Now we get to see it in action… and it’s ridiculous: flipping marlins, lights, animatronic flamingos, and what appears to be a whale’s blowhole— all present to punctuate the long ball. Still clueless as to who, how, or why this seemed like a good idea, to anyone, but it's real, folks.

Side note on Los Marlinos: Two weeks ago, we posted about a terrible anthem that was passed off as an “Official Marlins Theme Song.” The Marlins told Yahoo! that the song, in all its awfulness, had no affiliation with the team. Skeptical, I reached out to the person who made the song, (pseudo)professional signer Sarah Spiegel. Her father answered (…) and told me that his daughter, a Miami area native who now lives in LA, had recorded the song as a demo, with the intent to show it off to the team once it was finished. Last week, I received a follow-up call from her agent, who somewhat angrily filleted Marlins fans for their closed-mindedness, and said that the team had, in fact, been in talks with Spiegel about using her song. The demo was posted to YouTube so it could be shown off to some famous high school composer who was featured on 60 Minutes recently (I stopped listening at this point). He was to contribute to the song before putting the final masterpiece in front of the Marlins brass.

So yeah, the Marlins may have been entertaining the idea of using this ridiculous song. Just. In. Case. You. Care.

video via Deadspin, H/T to reader Matt