Coming Soon: A Lenny Dykstra Biopic

Voila_Capture 2014-06-04_05-03-32_PMEver wanted to see a film about a drug-usin’, tobacco-spittin, stock-pickin’, players-clubbin’, win-at-all-cost dude? Well, you’ve seen The Wolf of Wall Street. But if you want more, director John Lee Hancock has got you covered.

According to Variety, Hancock will direct a yet untitled Lenny Dykstra biopic:

John Lee Hancock is re-teaming with “The Blind Side” producer Gil Netter to direct an untitled movie about former Major League Baseball star Lenny Dykstra.

Details of the project are being kept under wraps.

Dykstra pleaded guilty in 2012 to bankruptcy fraud, concealment of assets and money laundering and was sentenced to six months in prison, 500 hours of community service, and was ordered to pay $200,000 in restitution. Dykstra said in an interview after he was released from prison last summer that Netter had acquired his movie rights — and suggested that either Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg portray him in the film.

Hancock ventured into the baseball biopic territory more than a decade ago when he directed Disney’s 2002 sports drama “The Rookie” about Jim Morris, the athlete who debuted in MLB at the age of 35.

I’m in. I cried so hard during The Rookie when Dennis Quaid’s character called his wife to tell her he made the Majors. Tremendous movie. And The Blind Side was OK, too. I’ll trust Hancock.

This has Wahlberg, whose child was conceived in a Philadelphia hotel room, written all over it. He’s contractually obligated with America to do at least one movie set or filmed in Philly every five years… and it’s been exactly that long since The Lovely Bones. I got it at 2:5 that he gets the role. Damon’s too pretty boy to be Dude, anyway.

H/T to (@Mike_Menzel), via Collider


  1. heard Lenny is going to be the new godfather locks

  2. You’re a loser

  3. Ruben on all fours to Montgomery

    June 4, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    This would be 100 ties better than anything the phils are putting on the field

  4. But Marky mark is sexier

  5. Kc's Quest for Fame

    June 4, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    Why did you switch the pictures?

  6. Shitweasel Turnpikejuice

    June 4, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    Mark Wahlberg is one of the worst actors alive so he’d be a good fit to play Lenny

  7. He who is without SIN shall cast the 1st stone

    June 4, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    And those of you that live in glass houses(which us all of us) should not throw stones.

    Hopefully Mr. Dykstra gets his life back on track,and to all of you self-righteous,holier than thou sons of #itches,with your selective morality,STFU!

  8. Did anyone just see me spew a hot load of company line bullshit at Barkann? Man even I didn’t believe what I was saying!

  9. Kyle's keyboard muscles

    June 4, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    Walberg is almost as big a scumbag as Dude so it would totally work. Question is though, who plays Dutch and Kruker?

    • Adolph Wahlberg

      June 4, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      It’s fun to read about Wahlberg talking about the time he almost beat a Vietnamese immigrant to death and justifying not trying to track him down to pay some restitution (lost an eye) because he’s made his peace with Jesus Christ by going to mass every day. Fucking scumbag… hope he gets dick cancer.

    • Senor Spielbergo

      June 4, 2014 at 5:55 pm

      I say Mickey Rourke as Dutch and Artie Lange as Krucker. Michael Cera can play Jimmy Eisenreich.

  10. Six figure Scotty

    June 4, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Sorry for the unrelated topic. But it appears Mikey miss and six figures Kyle are kindred spirits. Anyone else hear some loser caller giving Mike “I listen to bands you’ve never heard of so I appear to be young” missinelli verbal head today saying that alt rock himself should be the gm of the phillies. Of course, mike has to announce he would leave radio to do (no be deal we all would), but he’d also “TAKE THE PAY CUT TO DO SO”. Really dickhead? You have to throw in the pay cut part?
    /end rant

  11. You know what else is coming soon?

    Kyle, upon seeing my photo.

  12. I was at the pre-lunch at the Fanatic – Dykstra talked about this and how the movie would open with his character getting on a bus. He said the only actors he would want to play him were Wahlberg or Damon.

  13. Mike Miss Picture Gate

    June 4, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    What happened to the Lenny & mike miss pic that was originally up on this story???????

    • GayeeMcGayfuck

      June 4, 2014 at 7:14 pm

      Well you see Mikey has a family…….. Oh yeah I’m rich bitch I peddle cheap china made shirts. BRB going to go steal some more content from & b.a.r.sto.ol.

  14. Barkann's soiled boxer shorts

    June 4, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    Sounds like a great idea. We will have a poll on it. Stop fapping and start voting now.

  15. The Total Package Lex Luger

    June 4, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    Yeàh wtf happened to the mike miss picture with the dude? Was he bitching like k-c????

  16. I just wanted to say that you infrequent posters and newbies don’t seem to realize that you are supposed to make sure at least every 3rd comment is about a certain fox29 traffic bitch.

    When in doubt, just go back and browse some of the comments by the veteran commenters like me or my fellow commenters-in-arms Calling Bullshit, Jorts, Occupy CB, and a few others.

    We have made it our business to keep Kyle on the run, and unless you all join us to keep the pressure on, he will get away with sweeping the whole k..c.. thing under the rug.

    “Never Forget!”

    • Nice try asshole. Get a fucking life.

      • Stop posting as me, jackass! You people that steal handles are retarded.

      • Too many Junkheads on this blog

        June 5, 2014 at 1:02 am

        Hey Junkhead #2 (@ 10:13)

        “Nice try asshole. Get a fucking life.” ?

        Really? Wow, that’s such a well-thought-out contribution you’ve made to this blog.

        As much as Junkhead (the real one) has been an overbearing pain in the ass with all his “me and my pals ____ and ______ comment here all the time, and we think etc, etc, etc” , hijacking his handle is also just as childish. Just use your original handle (I’m guessing Nick Papagiorgio).

        • Man I’m me.

          That other junkhead is pretending to be me,but really I’m me.

          He keeps stealing my handle,and making others think that he’s me,and sadly he’s blinded you all and now you guys think he is me(can’t you see)

    • Calling Bullshit

      June 5, 2014 at 7:45 am

      The only ones commenting on FOX29 Traffic Girl the past week or so have been handles I have never seen on here before, so this joke, including using other peoples handles to make fun of them for something they aren’t really doing anymore, is unfunny, unoriginal, and kind of boring at this point.

  17. Cayy Cee the Fox29 traffic slut has huge tusks that I’ve noticed she has been trying to keep under wraps lately. Keep up the great comments, that shallow cunt is paying attention.

  18. K-c has buck teeth that are too white & fake tits on a 11 year old body. Lol lmao lol :) :)

  19. Phillies Implosion Countdown

    June 4, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    Bowa rips players on radio – check
    Pete Rose rips Rollins on radio, probably resulting in a jogging incident – check
    Stairs defends Howard’s strikeouts like he still hits 50+ HR’s – check
    Cliff Lee’s arm falls off before trade deadline – check
    Ruben admits fire sale possible – check
    Ruf makes the stupidest outfield play I’ve ever seen and wrecks wrist in AAA – check

  20. Kyle is a blowjob

    June 4, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    Kaci loving homo

  21. not digging the outfit though, nails.

  22. Kyle is a blowjob

    June 4, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    Villanova is for stuck up yuppies like Kyle, and you people give him a career by following his shit. Your all followers get lives

  23. Kyle is a blowjob

    June 4, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    Someone please start a petition for Kyle to shut this shit site down and get a real job, no one deserves to make a living to reposting the same stories they hear on Wip or 97.5 or csn all day

  24. Kyle's Wife Bangs Black Dudes

    June 4, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    The rest of the Phillies:

    Morandini – Jason Hervey (Wayne from the Wonder Years)
    Kevin Stocker – Jon Clark from NBC10 (the resemblance is STUNNING)
    Dave Hollins – Jake Gyllenhaal
    Milt Thompson – Dr. Dre
    Jim Eisenreich – James Franco
    Mariano Duncan – John Mayberry Jr. (hopefully soon to be available)
    Pete Incaviglia – Buff Bagwell
    Wes Chamberlain – The Dude from the Southern Comfort commercials
    Rickey Jordan – Omar Epps
    Danny Jackson – Christian Bale
    Tommy Greene – Tim McGraw
    Terry Mulholland – Charlie Sheen (if he can throw left handed)
    Ben Rivera – Bernie Mack

    • Kyle's Wife Bangs Black Dudes

      June 4, 2014 at 11:57 pm

      Richie Ashburn – Don Rickles
      Chris Wheeler – James Woods
      Andy Musser – Tough one – Chaz Palmenteri?
      Harry Kalas – a potential scene stealer, complete with Illinois accent, Robin Williams


    June 5, 2014 at 12:08 am

    Michael Richards to Justin Williams


    • The Kings literally have one (1) player that came from the Flyers. “Flyers West” is stupid. Get over it.

  26. hey guys, be honest – are my fake tits too fake? I can’t see them past my teeth.

    and why can’t I say my own name here? was there some sort of incident?

  27. I’m making a biopic about Kyle – it’s called “six degrees of emasculation.”

    HAHA, who am I kidding? I don’t know any words that big. I’m a dumb twat.

  28. Dr. Howard Fuckman, DDS

    June 5, 2014 at 8:16 am

    Mikey Miss and The Dude. And I thought I would have to go to youporn to see two gaping assholes on a website.

  29. I can't believe kyle would block her name

    June 5, 2014 at 8:34 am

    Does Kyle think Kaysee really comes to read this shit he spews, and it takes a real asshole to block her name

    • It’s sad, really, his obsession with me. But on the other hand, he gave me cheap T-shirts and I didn’t fuck him, so can you really blame him? That works for everybody.

  30. I cant believe the ass hole that put the Phils lineup to actors in the dykstra movie. Get a life, Bernie Mac is dead to ass hole

  31. Almost forgot – shout out to Ted Danson! #holla #kyleisahypocrite

  32. Dykstra now looks like the male teacher from ‘Clueless’.

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