Merrill Reese’s Call of Juqua Parker Jumping Offsides is Priceless

They jumped!

via (@dhm) and groundbeefmosque on YouTube

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27 Responses

  1. i refer you gentlemen to my facebook status:
    dear Juqua Parker… its 4th and 1 with the game on the line, so you know they’re going to run a hard count to try and draw you off the line… and what do you do? YOU DO EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO AND HAND THEM THE GODDAMN GAME! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING??????

  2. Reese is annoying as all hell. He tries to make EVERYTHING seem like a huge play. I could do without him calling anything.

  3. Hey! The Flyers fucking won. 2 in a row, with a shutout last nite (the first in 17 months)!
    All you miserable self-pitying wankers make me want to retch. And if you don’t like my language, go wank yourselfs, for fuck’s sake!

  4. Yo, IBM! Didn’t you used to sell computers? And what sort of language were YOU using when Parker jumped offsides? Inquiring minds wanna know.

  5. Parker Jumps, Victorino is talking about Golf lesson, at least J roll came out of his 45 hour silent treatment.
    What a great fucking weekend; Thanks.

  6. Sorry IBM, but it is “inquiring,” as “inquiry” is the correct spelling. “Enquiring” comes from a headline from the National Enquirer, who changed the spelling for obvious reasons.
    But yeah, other than the Flyers, worst God damn sports weekend of my life. What a letdown…

  7. Actually, all punctuation, including commas, go in the quotes, as in:
    “Actually,” Case of the Mondays reported, “only periods or punctuation that ends a sentence goes inside of the quotes…”

  8. “Laddieboy” and PunctuationNazi:
    I might have been a reform skool flunkie, but I think you guys are being too simple (stoopid). I’m quouting a word, not a phrase.
    And PunNazi, in your example the comma and eelippses are going inside of your quotes because they are part of what you’re quoting. And you’ll see I did the same where I’ve quoted PFlash.
    And English Teacher, sorry, it is “enquiring”, as in the National Enquirer. And I don’t care what the morons taught you here, but ENQUIRE is a proper word in the King’s/Queens’s English. Jesus, do I feel sorry for the students who have you as a teacher. There’s nothing worse than learning nothing other than learning the wrong thing. Just like Americans use the term “insurance” to include everything instead of differnsheating between it and “assurance”.
    Boy, I’m sure glad I was a reform skool flunkie instead of beaing a short bus wanker like all yall were. Hahahahahahahah

  9. Ok folks, he jumped and that sucks. However, anyone really think we are getting that ball in the endzone after the punt? Anyone really think we are converting the 4th down if Avant holds the pass on the previous drive (remember we threw a 2 yard pass on 3rd and 3!)? Didn’t think so.
    What we need to be asking Andy Reid and Juan Castillo is this, with regard to the Parker play:
    Why, on the previous two plays, when everyone in the stadium knew the Bills would be throwing vanilla running plays at you (hell Brad Smith is in the game for ONE reason!!) was your defense completely incapable of preventing them from gashing you for 9 3/4 yards?!! This has happened two weeks in a row in virtually the same situation. When a defense cannot stop the other team from running in the NFL when they know they are running the ball, that is a HUGE ISSUE!! On both the Offensive and Defensive lines we have lighter, weaker players who ALWAYS get pushed backwards in situations where the cards are on the table and it’s mano a mano. ALWAYS.
    To be honest I was somewhat shocked the Bills were doing what they did and didn’t just line up and take the first down with Fred Jackson. Absolutely zero chance this D-line stops him from gaining a half yard. To have that happen in a goal line scenario fundamentals are that your D-line get a push, or at least hold their ground, and your LB’s make a play over the top. Even if Cullen Jenkins hammers someone, do we think Jamar Chaney is coming over the top to stop Fred Jackson.
    This is why it’s not a matter of stopping the turnovers and bad penalties with this team. The reality is that this is a bad team. Bad teams do what the Eagles do. The Eagles players just get paid more to do it. Still means they are bad.

  10. Maybe we will finish bad enough to draft an Alabama or LSU lineman, offensive or defensive, I don’t give a crap. I’m tired of all these small school unheard of’s that Reid thinks he can make do what NFL linemen need to do. Only a few of them ever go on to greatness in the whole NFL, and Reid has shown he can’t coach them up to that level. We still need TWO DT’s and linebackers after all these years of trying to replace Cory Simon and Jeremiah Trotter…

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