Phillies Beat Writer Continues to Display Rudimentary Understanding of the Medium on Which He Makes a Living

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Daily News pseudo Phillies beat writer David Murphy, whose understanding of the Internet apparently consists of boobs, beer and SEO (which is actually, like, a real, useful thing that perhaps Murphy’s employer, Philly.com, would have been wise to implement back in, say, 2005, when the company viewed direct mail* as its biggest threat in a rapidly changing media landscape), wrote a very meta blog post which threw some much-needed cold water on a WIP report that the Phillies were aggressively pursuing Giancarlo Stanton. [They’re not, really. Likely just did some due diligence, since, from afar, it appears that the Marlins would sell their pitcher's mound if it saved them a few bucks.]

Besides pointing out the obvious – that the chances of Stanton becoming a Phillie, or going anywhere right now, are slim to none – Murphy managed to once again sound like a self-absorbed d-bag who has no idea how that fancy new medium the kids use works. Go ahead, Cheeser:

At first, I was going to take a principled stand and refuse to write a blog post. But by the time I made that decision, my Twitter feed and email inbox were full of questions regarding a Chris May tweet of a WIP rumor that alleges the Phillies are "aggressively" pursuing Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton. So I decided that I had to write something. Then I figured, why not go all out and search engine optimize my headline, since really what we have here is little more than a naked grab for metrics. So, apologies, you will not find any boobs in this post. You will, however, find an explanation of why I wouldn't infer that the Phillies have a shot in hell of acquiring Stanton, even if they are, as alleged, aggressively pursuing him.

 

Funny, because the naked grab for metrics (like the Daily News and Philly.com are above that sort of thing) started on the radio. And had there not been this shiny new thing on our desk boxes, the story likely would have gotten more legs– Hey, did you hear the Phillies are getting Stanton? Instead, the report was quickly shot down by those in the know – on the Internet – and Phillies fans will keep their sanity this afternoon.

Of course, this isn’t the first time that Murphy’s understanding of the intertubes has been about as deep as your great uncle’s:

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But it’s the hypocrisy from someone who collects a paycheck from a company that keeps a photo gallery of Wingettes on its sports page at all times…

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… that partnered with Bleacher Report to put SEO friendly, user-generated junk next to real, actual news…

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… junk like this… 

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… that is oh so rich. Rich. GET RICH QUICK. 12 STEPS TO GET RICH QUICK! Just hit the jump to find out how.


There. That’s how you do the Internet, right David? Thanks for the page views.

*True story. When I interviewed for an advertising sales position at the company in 2005, I was told that it wasn't online, but direct mail that was the main threat to their newspaper revenue. And after working there for two years, that misguided focus remained the same. Maybe they should have used more boobs.

66 Comments

  1. It’s time to stop posting

  2. Kinda dumb Kyle. When I read his post my thought was “This sounds like something that would be on Crossing Broad”.

  3. You didn’t get the job? Lol

  4. What the hell is the point of this article, and more importantly, who the fuck cares?

  5. Don’t take it out on us with this waste of space post just because murphy Murphy burned you. Look at the crappy links you have at the bottom of evey article and the useless advertisements all over the sides.

  6. so no one cares, but yet 5 of you (6 including myself) read it and spent the time to leave a comment.
    there’s a lot of suckers out there.

  7. Kyle you are of course correct in your annoyance in this article and the Bynum one too. Just wondering what went wrong this weekend to piss you off!

  8. get this middle school shit out of here nobody cares. sponsored by alex morgan in body paint and michael schwimer’s girlfriend.

  9. Billy, I didn’t read past the first paragraph, and if you’re just gonna say “LOL pageviews! then you’re a tool

  10. You’re such a douche.

  11. Ha dude saw his pages views get rocked that quick and took off the login feature

  12. Butthurt Kyle Fagins

    February 19, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    I was wondering why this article had more comments than the total of everything put together last week. Maybe Kyle is pissy after realizing people come here to read everyone but him? But seriously I lold skimming the above article where I swear Kyle is trying to rip on Murphy for looking at the internet as “tits & beer” when there is probably an advertisement for a massage parlor somewhere on this shit page.

  13. Fucking back mother fuckers, fuck cataldi

  14. Hmmm…Murphy doesn’t know how to use the internet, yet your blog is nothing more than a typePad template.
    Under junk ads for “The shocking video big media doesn’t want you to see!” and 20 dollar iPads -the type of ads that populate garbage websites- you have a useless, unorganized, and from the looks of it – out dated- categories list, that provably never gets used.
     The content in your “If you like this, you might like” section is nothing more than randomly generated articles that have nothing to do with the article at hand. If you knew how the internet worked, you could properly tag your posts, or maybe find a javascript plugin. That way, I could scroll up right now and click on previous posts that actually had to do with David Murphy or media curfuffles in general– instead I get a 2 year old post about Jeff Carter drinking beer and a post about Michael Schwimmers girlfriend’s tits. Irrelevant regurgitation, that I’m sure isn’t leading to any page views.
    As for that, its funny you call philly.com’s wingette links junk and criticize Murphy’s boob references, yet the schwimmers g/f post, and countless others like it, exist. You make fun of the floundering paper media yet you make your living being the TMZ of the philly sports world.
    If you know how to “use the internet”, then how come you can’t control your own comments section? You let it be overrun by overly offensive scum, then turn it into a log in system, only to resort back to the normal style because the very scum you alienated was the meat and potatos of your comments…When all you had to do in the first place was moderate it yourself, or write/find some javascript or php to automate the moderation.
    And maybe if you didn’t exclusively write trash like this, you wouldn’t rely on racist/sexist scum as your audience. I don’t like David Murphy, but what is so offensive about his post? He didn’t do anything you wouldn’t expect from him…you’re calling a spade a spade dude…Not only that, but you’re bitching about him being a snotty smug asshole, when you just sound like a whiney, jealous asshole by randomly bitching about this.

  15. Hey faggot cunts. You’re all smelly Jewish sand niggers with gigantic, gaping, infected, pus ridden, wart filled, green, slimy, malignant, pulsating 1 inch erections that you probably only use for feeding your children. Me? I soothingly and tenderly slide my silky, gleaming, throbbing, yet tender 15 inch penis in and out of RHEA HUGHES gnarly, spiders nest of an anus. Now that I’m back, the true voice of this site will reign supreme and I’ll get bak to inhaling my own farts out of mason jars. Ron Mexico, you were just too lazy of a faggot to take 13 seconds and make a twitter account…Me, I made 3 twitter accounts so i could lend my voice to this shit hole of a site, yet each one was swiftly blocked by Kykle Snott. Fascism at its finest…Luckily, the people prevailed and we got our freedom back, you fuckin stinking, festering, Luke warm, creamy birth canals. Eat my ficking scrotal tear that my botch HORSEFACE HUGHES made last night you dickless fucks. SANTORUM 2016!

  16. Hey Jonno, you can’t be serious, right? You’re confusing tech savvy with understanding the internet. Kyle runs the site by himself and I’m pretty sure doesn’t have a boss and makes a decent living, judging by the number of ads. I’d say he understands the Internet. Did it ever occur to you that those junk ads and you might like posts actually lead to money and views?
    And he didn’t criticize the female posts, he called Murph a hypocrite for writing that right next to those sorts of things. I don’t think Kyle needs to write code to get the Internet you fucking weirdo.

  17. Im an outrageous faggot that enjoys sticking anal beads into my dead cat. I love sucking dick more than I love fingering male anus.

  18. 700 Level Is Better

    February 19, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    Woops I guess 3 Faggot Lenny is also Chance VP of Pedo Cocksucking, smooth move there shitsack.

  19. Candy from the Oak

    February 19, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    I guess Kyle stop fucking that man suzie Celek

  20. Funny, Joe…I didn’t know it was normal for people to refer to their bread and butter as junk. And apparently the trash comments like Angelo’s are important enough to warrant tolerating. You don’t need to know code to properly manage your site or to look up easy to use cut and paste scripts, or to prevent trash from over running the comments/site.

  21. You calling anyone else a self-absorbed d-bag is rich, Laskowski.

  22. does 3 finger want to fuck chance vp? SMH

  23. the haters seem fired up Kyle brought back the comment board & page views to follow. lol

  24. 3 Finger Pussy & chance have always been the same person. 2 GnA legends

  25. Thanks crossingbroad for giving in to these trashy sexist morons. Nothing like coming on here & reading candy oak & angelo’s attention getting posts. just saying

  26. I don’t know what’s worse about bringing back the comments: reading all the sexist comments or the people who come on just to bash Crossingbroad.

  27. Shut up Tara you cunt

  28. A Huge Wingbowl Fan

    February 19, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    High cheese dude is a pompous loser

  29. Never thought I would be able to comment without logging in after the “My readers are mean” article. Hmmm, must use chance time wisely…
    BOOBS.
    This article comes off as pretty sad.

  30. All kidding aside Kyle, I see you and Murph as the same type of guy, dickbags

  31. Tara – If you don’t like the comments section then don’t read it. Personally, I agree that there’s a lot of vile sexist & racist comments, but for me it’s worth sifting through them for the occasional gem that someone posts. I’m sure if Kyle had more time on his hands or underlings working for him he could have someone approve comments like PFT does before they’re posted, but that’s not reality right now. If I remember correctly there was even a point where PFT didn’t filter comments when they were first getting started. It is what it is. So unless you want to volunteer and sit around at your computer all day & approve messages as they’re posted for free to help Kyle then there’s nothing to so except look away.

  32. How many of the trolls commenting are Meech just angry that his website died?

  33. What if David Murphy was Angelo all along?

  34. @indiana Jones, if that is true I would actually like Murph but he’s such a cock sucker I doubt it is him…hes you busy trying to pick up 4s and 5s at some dive bar

  35. A Huge Wingbowl Fan

    February 19, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    I love sucking on boobs

  36. Im not one for coming on here and constantly complaining about the things I dont like about the site. But if I see something written that I really disagree with it (which is a rarity) Ill address it. I did that a few days ago. I dont remember what it was about but what I said was mild. It wasnt foul or derogatory I just pointed something out. But it got deleted out right. So I find if funny Kyle is again criticizing how someone else writes and at the same time calling them a hypocrite . Although he deletes comments and blocks user who do the same thing to him.
    Hypocrites are bad enough, but their even worse when they lack the self awareness to realize how hypocritical their being by calling someone else out for doing the same thing they do all the time. And lets be honest you only have a problem with Murphy’s writing because he doesnt respect what you do and works for a website that didn’t want you. Its just like Florio always attacking ESPN. He does it not because he thinks they put out a bad product but because they fired him.
    And while were being honest blogging is no different then the paparazzi. People who make a living by riding the coat tails of someone else. You guys never take responsibility for yourselves. You copy and paste what other people say so if their wrong you can just say you were quoting them. And then you criticize them for being wrong. But if their right all bloggers conveniently forget to mention them in the next story and only point out that you had a post about it happening before it happened.
    No wonder established writers dont respect what you do. And I dont see why bloggers think they should be. Until you are willing to go out on a limb and stand behind things you post and stop crucifying those who do have the guts to do it, I dont think you deserve any more respect then the paparazzi.

  37. I just ejaculated into my dogs anus and fed him taco bell so he would spray his sperm ridden ejaculative diarrhea directly into my awful mouth. After, I watched cow porn whilst slitting the words RHEA HUGHES into my chest with a rusted razor blade. Fuck you people.

  38. February’s page views must have been waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy down. Gotta get em them page views up for the Chickies and Petes March madness ad blitzzzzzzzzz….

  39. Rhea Hughes' Veal Cutlets

    February 19, 2013 at 10:22 pm

    What’s more rich? Kyle calling out an actual writer among the many whose work Kyle steals every day? Or the fact that Kyle is all of a sudden allowing easier comment functionality once his page views went to nearly zero? Typical Delco hypocrisy.

  40. Anthony Gargano's Fake Laugh

    February 19, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    Nice! Back to lax oversight of comments! Must’ve realized that the main reason folks come here is to read/write comments.

  41. Al Morganti's Fake, Overaffected New England Accent

    February 19, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    The700Level also steals from real writers; however, they don’t seem to snark at the writers as much as this site.

  42. Spike from Little Giants

    February 19, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Murphy also just looks like a pussy…am I right? Dude pops his collar. He reminds me of a St. Joe’s Prep kid, or LaSalle college high school. A fucking know it all loser. Can’t wait until that tool loses his column. No one likes him anyway, literally. Long live Gonzo and CB.

  43. wait… we can call each other faggots on here again?
    YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  44. The end has begun.

  45. where is candy from the oak :(

  46. fuck the harlem shake tho.
    murph and kyle are the same exact people in the same exact business just doing it differently. except i’d rather have an irrelevant blog that gets page views than work for a newspaper in the 21st century.

  47. You’re a huge tool

  48. Saw 50 plus comments and instantly knew the good old fashioned comment section was back. Guess someone started feeling it in the pocket a little bit. And what could be a better way then to get those page views back up then by ripping your nemesis?

  49. 700 level actually has original, thought out content and not just a bunch of angry senseless drivel about David Murphy.

  50. Comments section back on means someone wasn’t getting a lot of click-throughs. Pot, meet kettle. Get over yourself, Kyle.

  51. …Tits & beer?
    But… you have advertisements for Drinker’s Pub…
    and… you have blogs about Michael Schwimer’s girlfriend…
    and… you knock him for having useless articles surrounding his blog… but you have a blog on Domonic Brown’s tattoo… and you thought I’d like it…. after reading your blog… that bashes useless articles….
    What is life?
    You are the epitome of hypocrisy.

  52. It’s also amazing how he won’t delete all the filth(pussy farts) and racist comments that come on these threads, but if someone proves him wrong the comment vanishes.
    Again, get your self straight you simple fuck.
    (this will be deleted b/c of butthurtness)

  53. Wish It Was Still 2008

    February 20, 2013 at 10:00 am

    At first I was going to write a snide comment, but instead I wanted to be 100% serious with this one in an attempt to bring to light the scourge that has started affecting this blog.
    Kyle, you honestly need to look in the mirror before calling out other writers for being self-absorbed d-bags who make naked attempts at metrics. That business model is EXACTLY what CrossingBroad is founded on, is it not?!
    All anyone does in the new media industry is make “naked attempts” at gaining metrics, and to accuse someone else of doing so is complete lunacy. Page views bring in advertising… advertising pays the bills… it’s the circle of earning a living in a digital medium.
    I mean, this article is DRIPPING in hypocrisy, even as you call out David Murphy as being a hypocrite. Making fun of Murphy for having images of the Wingettes? Didn’t you once cover, or don’t you actively cover the Wing Bowl?
    Have you forgotten about the Girls of Philly ads on your site? What’s worse: keeping photo galleries of the Wingettes always visible, or taking ad money from a local soft-core porn business? Sex sells, and you’re reaping the rewards. But then you negatively accuse others of doing so.
    My head is about to explode with the ridiculousness of it all.
    If you’d somehow just stick to the snarky sports reporting that made everyone fall in love with Crossing Broad, the site might last another few years.
    Stop with the “reporter war” crap. The general public, and 99% of your readership, doesn’t give a shit about what you think about David Murphy. Yet you seem to pride yourself on having your finger on the pulse of the city. None of it makes sense.
    And furthermore, why constantly bring attention to the morons who publish garbage for companies on the brink of collapse? Just to say that you predicted their demise? I just don’t get it.
    I don’t visit this site nearly as much as I once used to, and these posts are part of the reason. I come here on the off-chance I might catch something interesting about the Phillies, but thats about it.
    I figure this comment is going to be deleted, or blocked, just like a few of my previous comments on other posts. Which is ironic considering the “faggot” and “nigger” comments are somehow considered allowable. For whatever reason, the truth never really seems to make to the light of day in the comments section.

  54. I’d rather have wingettes pussy fart inside my nostrils with my mouth taped shut and my ears stuffed with half-eaten wing bones covered in sriracha-chipotle cum before I believe you’re an actual writer.

  55. What the hell is your hard on for David Murphy, not to mention Philly.com all about? Did he snub you at a Rittenhouse men’s hair salon? Turn down your kamikaze shots at Cavanaugh’s? Hit on your girl? I mean, I get that it’s easy and fun to take pot shots at the old school dying medium, but it’s harder than you to think to create original content that isn’t about dick jokes, Jeff Carter sightings, or Sixers ticket prices. I mean, if it wasn’t for Philly.com, half of your stories wouldn’t even exist. You’re coming off as not only a grapefruit league hater, but a severely effeminate one at that. As proof, I bet you’re not man enough to leave this comment up (you already deleted it once).

  56. it’s funny that you all think Kyle actually reads the comments.

  57. Steve the smell of your blue waffle pussy makes my dick swell with pride

  58. wow kyle im surprised you know what seo is. its not like you do the same thing.

  59. Thank you, Jonno! My thoughts exactly. Really disheartening to see Kyle’s decided to let the inmates once again run the asylum, too. Guess we all have to be subjected to this vile shit once again. Kyle’s the LAST PERSON who should be calling out Murphy who actually works for a living. Your whole blog is boobs and beer.

  60. Behind the scenes the Popular Party has dismissed the allegations as a “smear campaign” by the discredited Barcenas, who is refusing to go down alone but is intent on bringing down the party with him.

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