Caesar is named after Delaware founding father Caesar Rodney. He may be absurd* (and owe someone child support), but nothing is as absurd as the 87ererererers using the syntax-problematic er.
*Not to mention The Count-inspired jersey. SEVENS! FIRST!
Jay-Z has won.
Rusney Castillo, the projected-to-be-slightly-above-medicore free-swinging Cuban defector utility player represented by Jay-Z’s Roc Nation, will reportedly sign with the Red Sox for an OBSCENE amount of money despite not having played in a formal game in a year and a half. The bow tie man, little baby Ken Rosenthal, brings you this report:
GAH! Reports had Castillo signing for anywhere between $30-$60 million. AND HE’S GETTING 72. Jay-Z FTMFW. All that for a guy with this scouting report.
Here’s the trade. From the AP:
A person with knowledge of the situation told The Associated Press that the Timberwolves will receive Philadelphia 76ers power forward Thaddeus Young as part of the deal that will send Love to the Cleveland Cavaliers. The person requested anonymity because an official announcement has not been made.
The Wolves agreed weeks ago to send Love to Cleveland, where he will team up with LeBron James and Kyrie Irving to make the Cavaliers an instant favorite in the Eastern Conference. The Cavs agreed to send No. 1 overall draft pick Andrew Wiggins, former No. 1 pick Anthony Bennett and a 2015 No. 1 draft choice they obtained from Miami to Minnesota to land Love, but Wolves President Flip Saunders and GM Milt Newton immediately went to work to try to get the 76ers involved in the deal as well.
The rebuilding Sixers will get guard Alexey Shved and forward Luc Mbah a Moute from the Timberwolves and Miami’s No. 1 pick next year from the Cavaliers in the deal, which will not be officially announced until Saturday when Wiggins becomes eligible to be traded.
Great, expiring contracts. Woo!
Adrian Wojnarowski shit all over Bob Cooney’s earlier report that Bennett was coming to the Sixers as part of the Andrew Wiggins-to-the-Wolves trade:
So, what can Thad expect in Minnesota? Well…
The Timberwolves were expected to introduce Young, Wiggins and Bennett on Tuesday at the Minnesota State Fair.
A STATE FAIR! Actually… that might be better than the Constitution Center.
I, for one, love Snoop Dogg’s angry Instagram videos. This may be be better than the Donald Sterling one:
Man, the Pittsburgh Steelers need a new fucking offensive coordinator. This guy sucks. Coach Tomlin, this is Snoop Dogg, fire that motherfucker and get us a real offensive coordinator. We ain’t won a playoff game since we had this bumfucker. Shit.
1) Love how he buries the introduction, like in one of those $2 per day-buys-you-a-small-African-villager commercials. Do you know what it’s like to go to bed hungry, to wake up wondering how you’ll get your next meal? Hello. I’m Snoop Dogg, and I’m here to tell you that you should fire your motherfucking offensive cofuckingordinator.
2) The Steelers did look like shit, man, losing 34-21. I write 34 (not the actual 31) because I just assume that an actual NFL kicker would’ve made a 31-yard field goal in perfect, still late summer conditions. Alex Henery sucks. Here, I made my own #SnoopRants:
The Phillies are reportedly one of the five finalists to land Cuban defector Rusney Castillo. The Phillies are reportedly not one of the three finalists to land Rusney Castillo. They probably won’t land Rusney Castillo.
Anyway, there’s a lot of hype surrounding the guy – perhaps because he’s represented by Jay-Z, perhaps because the media loves salivating over Cuban defectors – but, by all accounts, he doesn’t project to be a star, even though he’s projected to earn anywhere between $35 and $60 million over five or so years
From Baseball America:
Before Castillo’s rapid strength increase, he was a similar player to Rajai Davis, a 5-foot-9, 195-pound righthanded-hitting outfielder, when they were the same age. Davis, now 33, was another similarly-built speedster who could play center field with an aggressive hitting approach, a solid bat and occasional power, with an underappreciated skill set for a player who was often thought of as a fourth outfielder himself.
From Mass Live:
At the plate, he’s shown a lack of discipline and will swing at pitches off the plate, though it might be unfair to call him a “free-swinger.” The belief is that his line drive approach will play more consistently than the long swing he’s occasionally displayed.
Because Castillo has been hitting the ball with more authority since he added the muscle, “he’s maybe not a super star player, but certainly a solid every-day guy,” Badler said.
In other words: He’s a versatile outfielder who’s added some muscle since coming to the States, but projects to be a generic, free-swinging utility player who’ll be given a massive contract before ever seeing one pitch in the Majors. No wonder why Ruben’s interested!
Will Leitch, writing for Deadspin [minor edits]:
Which brings me to [Ruben Amaro]. [Ruben Amaro] is the [Phillies] general manager, and he is current Public Enemy No. 1 in sabermetric schools. The reasons are obvious. The [Phillies] minor league system is a mess, the team is old and overpaid and there seems to be no resolution in sight. [Amaro] is one of those old baseball men that sabermetrics folks have had in their crosshairs for years, and he’s one of the last ones left. That he has hung on this long might be related to how he started his career, [on the field]. Whereas most teams now realize that building the farm system, keeping young players around and cost controlled, understanding your window of opportunity and punting when it’s closed. [Amaro] and the [Phillies] do none of that. This is a team that employed [Laynce Nix] last season. [Amaro] is spending cash to tread water, to sneak through a door that slammed shut years ago. He is putting off a rebuilding plan, Isiah-style, that will just make it that much more difficult when the piper finally must be paid a few years from now. The [Phillies] aren’t good now, and they’re just going to get worse. Just when you think [Amaro] had figured this out, he wildly overpays for a mediocre reliever, hamstringing the team even worse. I can’t figure out what he’s trying to do. Is this team starting over? Does he really think it’s good enough now? Who’s he trying to kid?
Leitch is no longer with Deadspin. He wrote that in 2010, about Ed Wade and the Astros.
H/T to reader Robert
Gone are the days of Paul Holmgren evaluating players on their goonishness. Ron Hextall mentioned in his introductory press conference that the Flyers would rely a bit more on advanced statistics, and by golly, he’s sticking to his word. Broad Street Hockey discovered that the team hired an analytics guru in July– Ian Anderson. There’s not much information available on him, but his LinkedIn sheds some light:
Listed just off-frame there is Anderson’s previous experience as the Capitals’ regional sales manager. So, yes, the Flyers hired a ticket sales guy to run their analytics efforts. But to be fair to Anderson, he did just receive his MS in Predictive Analytics, which I’m guessing is something that not one scout in this video has:
*On Tuesday, a Flyers publicist reached out to me and said that my #IceBucketChallenge to Ron Hextall was forwarded along, but that he already did it (somewhat privately), and that they were trying to get video. Still waiting on you, ZION SPEARMAN.
Photo credit: David Richard-USA TODAY Sports
LONGEST TRADE IN HISTORY.
First the Sixers were going to be involved in the Andrew Wiggins-to-the-Timberwolves-for-Kevin Love trade. And then they weren’t. And then they were again. And now, maybe not so much.
Tom Moore, who’s been all over this story since it first became a thing in this world:
But Jerry Zgoda, Timberwolves beat writer for the Minneapolis Star Tribune, tweeted this Wednesday: “Just a reminder: if you keep reading Bennett is headed to Philly for Young in forthcoming trade . . . don’t believe it.”
Nate Duncan of BasketballInsiders.com claimed the Wolves might want Bennett instead of Young. Bennett, who had a disappointing rookie campaign, would be under salary control for a minimum of two more years, while Young can opt out of his contract after next season.
Moore goes on to say that the Sixers could still send Young to the Wolves in exchange for expiring contracts… yet somehow that’s not as fun and exciting as landing the former number one overall pick in the draft.
Trade rumors used to be fun. Now it’s just about which overpaid players our baseball team can get rid of and which ASSETS can the basketball team and its mathy GM can stockpile. I… miss Paul Holmgren.*
*No I don’t.