Category: Teams (page 1 of 1080)

The Phillies Are so Awkward on Twitter

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The Phillies’ social media presence is like a sophomore with an overactive pituitary gland at a high school dance. Sure, he’s impressively-sized and a man amongst literal boys, but it’s just impossible for the girls to notice because he’s so. goddamn. awkward. What do I do with my hands? Should I just snap when they play the rap songs? Do we tweet out the contest rules when we’re only giving away a t-shirt?

Like our hypothetical student, the Phillies, thanks to their consecutive postseason runs – which just happened to coincide with the rise of Twitter – have the most dominant local following on the social network. But they don’t know what to do with it. The guy or girl or people who run their account should be fired or at least relieved of those specific duties. It’s that bad.

Today, though, their account actually showed a glimpse of personality when it retweeted a Tweet for National Jersey Day (which they’ve been overly hyping instead of, say, reminiscing about the fifth anniversary of Roy Halladay’s perfect game) containing a who wore it better? request from a fan who sent along two pictures: one of himself and one of a girl in a black bikini wearing an unbuttoned Phillies jersey. The winner was obvious.

Some, like (@FanSince09), who sometimes hates everything, thought the Phils’ response was in poor taste. I thought it was funny, even if it did open the kid up to the nearly one million mongrels who follow the Phillies (and now the mongrels in our comments). You be the judge:

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For once, they showed some actual wit. But, like everything else they do besides handing out ludicrously big contracts, the Phils were risk adverse and didn’t want to open themselves up to any scrutiny… so they deleted the Tweet, because the organization has the collective personality of your weird aunt who repurposes shuttlecocks for use as Christmas tree toppers. Oh no, the flaming pile of garbage we assemble on the field every night is one thing, but this Tweet, which dared to show the personality of warm-blooded human, will not stand. Fun police assemble! Would the LA Kings’ Twitter guy have deleted it? Absolutely not. Dude would’ve owned it. Doubled-down, even. That’s what all sports social media people should ask themselves– what would the LA Kings do? WWTLAKD? Or, hell, what would the Flyers or Sixers do? Their Twitter people kill it.

Any comedian will tell you that you can push the line, or even cross it, if you’re confident in what you’re saying [see Louis C.K. on SNL], but the minute you show weakness, then you just look like a creep or a bigot. In the case of our lanky high school kid, this is akin to walking up to the hot girl and grabbing her arm when Next’s Too Close comes on while stuttering in her ear, “Girl… you… know I… like… you… it! I like it!” He won’t get away with that. “EW!” will be the response. But if the jock did it, he’d own the comment, and Next thing he knows, he would be getting yelled at by some nun to “LEAVE ROOM FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT!”* The Phillies would never get that far– they’d just get slapped for being so damn awkward.

Bonus jam:

*I attended way too many Catholic school dances when I was young.


Evan Mathis is the Best

Photo Credit: Jeffrey G. Pittenger-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Jeffrey G. Pittenger-USA TODAY Sports

When Chip Kelly was asked during yesterday’s press conference if he’d spoken to Evan Mathis, he said he hadn’t and sounded fairly annoyed. And not the regular “why do I have to talk to you people?” annoyed, something extra. Mathis wants more money, and as of yet he hasn’t shown up to OTAs because he hasn’t gotten it. So far there have been no takers on a trade either, as Jimmy Kempski pointed out. Kelly said on the last day of the draft that “Evan’s been available to trade for two years now and we’ve never had an offer for him. And that’s through their agent and him.” Kempski then tied a Tweet Mathis sent out that day that just said “Deez” – an abbreviated form of “deez nuts” – to Kelly’s comments. Mathis didn’t like Kempski’s insinuation and it forced Kempski to update his post with one of the greatest updates I’ve ever seen:

UPDATE: Mathis reached out to me to say that his “deez nuts” tweet was not in response to Chip Kelly’s comments. He did not appreciate the “[redacted] sensationalist attempt at connecting a deez nuts tweet to a random line from a Chip Kelly presser.” He also pondered whether a poop he took on 9/11 caused 9/11.

My God will I miss that man when he’s gone.


Riley Cooper Confirms It: Chip Kelly Is Not a Racist

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Riley Cooper, speaking to Bob Grotz of the Delco Times about LeSean McCoy’s accusation, confirms for us all that Chip Kelly is not a racist: “It’s definitely difficult and upsetting for sure,” Cooper said. “I know (Kelly is) not like that.”

Thanks, Riles.

He went on to say, in a conversation that is totally real and not at all concocted by my dick-ish sense of humor: “I mean, I would know one when I see one. Cutoff jeans, cutoff flannel shirt, pony tail, Florida kid,” Cooper explained. “Chip’s got none of the classic signs. We went out one night and he didn’t threaten one black waiter or cab driver. He just treated them with respect and left sizable tips. It’s a breath of fresh air, really. Look, brah, it takes one to know one– and Chip ain’t one.”

via Pro Football Talk


Byron Maxwell Guarantees The Eagles in The Super Bowl

Great, this again. Like the “dream team” of a few years ago — though this time stated by a starter — the Eagles may have a prediction hanging over their head this season. In an interview with Jenny Vrentas at MMQB, new Eagle Byron Maxwell had a prediction to make:

Vrentas: Is that similarity in the team culture a big reason why you believe the Eagles will go to the Super Bowl this year?

Maxwell: We will, though.

Vrentas: That sounds kind of like a guarantee.

Maxwell: You can take that as a guarantee. That’s just me believing in my team and the product we’re going to put out there on the field. I really do believe that. I have no choice but to think that way.

Personally, I’ll start lower: You can take it as a guarantee that this quote will get more play than it probably should. Count on it.


Jay Glazer Twitter Ranted About LeSean McCoy

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Chip Kelly was asked about LeSean McCoy’s insinuation that he is a racist during his presser yesterday. His response brought out a “son” and a couple of future inspirational posters, but Kelly also suggested that those were great questions to ask the players. And so, the players got asked. But the most vicious response came from Jay Glazer of all people, who took to twitter to rant [edited and unabbreviated]:

“I’m sorry man but you just don’t flippantly accuse people of this. I think it’s complete bullshit and irresponsible as hell to bring into the equation. When you accuse someone, that label stays with you regardless of truth. Wrong for [McCoy] to go there, don’t bring it into the equation. Didn’t they replace McCoy with DeMarco Murray? I’ve known and trained with Murray since college and I’m pretty sure, actually I’m positive, he’s black. Lecture over. Unless you’re sure about something like that don’t publicly label someone as it. You’re guilty no matter what and it’s wrong.”

It’s a topic on First Take today (of course), so I’m sure Stephen A. Smith with double (or triple) down on this and it won’t be out last post on it today.


Your Semi-Annual Update on Ryan Howard’s Castle

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There lies the house that Rube built, on the Gulf.

This, of course, isn’t the first we’ve seen of Howard’s Florida castle, which looks like it’s just about now being completed. As of last year it was expected to be finished sometime in 2015.

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The photos come from reader Dan, who – fun fact! – submitted one of the funniest sample posts last year during the writer search. [Sometimes you can still get content without paying someone!]

Previous posts showing off the house and details of its features, including a moat: Doorknobs, Massive, GIF, Moat.


These “Fans” Can’t Identify the Newest Eagles, Can You?

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Of course you can. This ESPN bit is dumb, because those people aren’t even fans. I get that it’s a funny little video, and Byron Maxwell’s face doesn’t necessarily jump out at you, but how do you not know what Tim Tebow looks like? Everyone knows what Tim Tebow looks like. Or DeMarco Murray. Or this goofy dude. It’s not even a real challenge.

You want a challenge? Don’t cheat, and tell me who this guy is:

Photo Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Answer and the video after the jump.

Continue reading


Curt Schilling Trashes Ruben Amaro (and Randy Miller)

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YES. YES!!! More of this. I need more.

Curt Schilling, never one to even remotely tamp down his opinion on anything, called in to Mike Missanelli’s show today – it’s a weekly thing, apparently – and started going in on Ruben Amaro.

An amalgamation of hideously transcribed quotes tweeted out by 97.5 [actual audio here] and my own transcription:

“I don’t think [his comments about fans were] a mistake, I think he truly believes it.”

“Ever see a guy who’s trying to send a message subliminally to people… guy reaching out for help but won’t say it.”

“[Stanford guys]– there’s a very Ivy League approach to life for them. They’re smart guys… some of them can’t wait to tell you how smart they are. Ruben’s always been like that.”

“During his first week in the big leagues…. and we’re on the plane and guys are flirting with stewardesses or flight attendants or whatever the politically correct thing is nowadays… and someone intercepts a note from Amaro that says: ‘I [can’t] believe youre talking to them, I’m the closest thing to a total package on this plane.”

“Some guys don’t have awareness in them that they’re talking down to you.”

“Ruben’s dad was one of the greatest guys I’ve ever met…. and he has been around some great guys… but I just don’t know if it translated.”

“Ruben hasn’t proven himself.”

“I realized what Ruben thought of me in the winter of 2003…. when Arizona told me they wanted to trade me I only wanted to go to one place, Philly. and Ruben told me that wasn’t an option.”

These are mostly things we already knew or assumed with Ruben, except for the (totally unsurprising) bit about trying to pull a waitress on a charter flight.

Schilling, of course, believes he’s not in the Hall of Fame because he’s a Republican and doesn’t believe in evolution, so his words will henceforth by taken with a grain of salt.

Of course, salt goes good on a shot at Randy Miller:

“I was certainly never a part of the Macho Row thing, but I understood (the media) had a job to do.”

“There were guys who deserved that [bad] treatment– the Randy Millers of the World.”


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