Using the term "ill" with complete irony, and understanding that Urban Dictionary has come to help us define our world, we decided to classify our city... your city. Up first: The Types of Phillies Games.
Late Night Lieberthal: This is the improbable, unexplainable, once a season seven run ninth inning comeback, made famous by Mike Lieberthal’s walk-off home run on June 16th, 1998.
The Carts: When you go to a Phillies game and get laid later in the evening. If you have a threesome, it’s then known as The Carter III or a Weezy.
Baezkill: Lead? Not anymore. See also: Baez, Danys.
Flaccid Duck: This is the one where the Phillies lead or trail by at least seven runs in the seventh inning or later and (very important to have both) it rained at some point earlier in the evening and you’re damp. You try to stay, but no matter how much you think about other games and stadiums, and how much you wish you were in them instead... you just can’t finish. This is the only circumstance in which it is acceptable to leave a game early.
Premature Ejectulaion: You left. They came back... and won. The game may have been an...
Aaron Heilman Special: Any game in which a comeback is inevitable against a shaken closer. Phils win in an epic - and often hilarious - fashion. See also: Broxton, Jonathan; Wagner, Billy. Heightened: Stream Out of the Dugout Game, or, when done in postseason, takes on the name Jimmmmy!!!
Larry Mendte: You work nights and constantly hack into your friend’s MLB.tv account to watch games. Bonus points if you somehow fuck Alycia Lane or this ends in a restraining order.
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