I'm sure you didn't miss this, but Steve Consalvi was tasered, his parents FAILED. The next night, Douchebag Tom Betz did the same, sans tase. Werth didn't like it. Betz then spoke to reporters and couldn't find his car.
Chase Utley talked about his ass… and this guy likely loved it.
The Eagles announced Kelly green uniforms.
The Sixers announced the most ridiculous promotion of all time.
Justin Bieber snubbed Donovan McNabb.
We answered Yahoo's call about whether or not the Phillies could bring back Cliff Lee.
Would he even want to come back?
Would it matter if Roy Halladay won 25 games?
The Sixers might hire another slug.
Cole Hamels regained his confidence.
Carlos Ruiz got a walkoff home run, jumped in the Cadillac, and then got pied.
Jayson Werth paid tribute.
Jon Steward was envious of Philly.
Simon Gagne returned to win the game in overtime, Jamie Moyer became the oldest pitcher to throw a shutout, Mets fans are dumb, the Phillies unveiled a new hat, and Keith Hernandez fell asleep.
You are hilarious.
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